- Eivor: Rally the men, Ivarr. Let's have at it.
- Ivarr: It is a good day to die.
- Eivor: The gate looks to be well defended.
- Ivarr: My men are loading a cart with cauldrons of oil. We will blast right through that fucking gate.
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King Killer
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King Killer was a virtual representation of one of Eivor Varinsdottir's genetic memories, relived by Layla Hassan in 2020 through the Portable Animus HR-8.5.
Description[edit | edit source]
Eivor met with Ivarr the Boneless set out to attack Caustow Castle and murder King Rhodri the Great.
Dialogue[edit | edit source]
Eivor and Ivarr made their way out of the camp.
- Ivarr: You men, mount up and follow me! There's work to be done!
Eivor and Ivarr mounted their horses, heading to Caustow Castle.
- Ivarr: I should have seen this coming. I should have known he would come for the weakest of us.
- Eivor: You opened a bloody wound when you killed Rhodri's brother.
- Ivarr: Anything worth doing must be paid for in blood.
- Eivor: In Quatford, you told me Rhodri gave you that scar on your face. Is it a story worth telling?
- Ivarr: If not worth telling, it is worth remembering. Years ago, I was headed back from the Western Isle. Ah, they have got fighters there! I had taken a bit of a beating, putting me in a surly mood. I wanted blood and silver, nothing more. So me and my drengr, sailing across the coast of Cymru, see a nice spot for landing, covered in mist. We drag our ships ashore, and just then a cry came from atop a hillock. The troll-cursed Britons. The fog clears a bit, and there they are, all lined up. The biggest one calls out, "I am Rhodri, king of this land." "That means shit to me," I scream back. I give my boys a nod, and we raise up our axes and charge before they take a breath. We have the numbers. But the Britons are clever. It's marshland. The bog catches our boots, sucks us to a standstill. One by one, Rhodri cuts us to bits. He gets to me, lays his blade at my cheek and gives me this nick. "Leave this land, and give your people fair warning," he says. "Tell them King Rhodri gave you that cut." "Hen shit," I say. Rhodri laughs and lets me go.
- Eivor: Quite a story, Ivarr. Son of Ragnar, killer of kings, conqueror of England and the Western Isle. You have lived a saga worth ten.
- Ivarr: That I have.
Everyone stopped their horses outside of Caustow Castle.
- Ivarr: That sweat-sopped slug is just beyond those walls. "May only be defeated by a dragon," my itching ass. He'll meet one, alright.
- Eivor: Send a message to your men. We can build a camp here and lay plans for a surprise attack.
Some time passed and a camp was swiftly built.
- Eivor: Ivarr's men waste no time. They're eager to pay out our revenge.
Eivor made the rounds, speaking to any of the prisoners she liberated while ransacking Rhodri's supplies.
- Baeldaeg: I been waiting to get back at these Britons ever since you broke me from that cage, Dane. The time is nigh.
- Eadric: There's my liberator! I'll do you proud, I will.
- Orlaf: Eivor! I'm ready to get back at them Britons. You'll not see me lagging behind, doin' nothing but looting corpses. Not this time!
When she was ready, she spoke to Ivarr outside of his tent, where he had just completed tattooing a dragon onto the shaved left half of his head.
- Ivarr: I am ready.
- Eivor: What in the name of Loki have you done?
- Ivarr: Called in a dragon to help me slay Rhodri. Now what say you, Wolf-Kissed? Are you ready for war?
- Eivor: We're not ready yet. Patience, my friend.
- Ivarr: Bah!
- Ivarr: Ready to take this miserable castle? The dragon is hungry for Briton blood.
As the rest of their army prepared for the fight, Eivor and Ivarr walked up to the castle's gate.
- Ivarr: Rhodri! Show yourself!
Rhodri appeared on the battlements.
- King Rhodri: I am here, Boneless Ragnarsson. How is it you come in force when our peace has been concluded?
- Ivarr: Do not mock us, whoreson. You splattered blood on our peace with the butchery of young Ceolbert!
- King Rhodri: Speak what nonsense you please, Dane. If you mean war, our defences are sure.
- Ivarr: Gaze upon my face, King of Crow-food, and meet the dragon that will devour you!
- King Rhodri: I see a spent old man playing at serpents.
- Eivor: Enough talking, Ivarr.
Eivor walked away with Ivarr, who gestured angrily.
- Ivarr: Bring the oil cart and set the fires! When I am done with Rhodri, I will tear the fat from his shanks and use it to fry our bread.
The battle began.
- Ivarr: Get the cart, boys. We will light it up in front of the gate!
Eivor helped escort the cart to the gate, either by pushing it herself or providing cover for it.
- Eivor: Get the wagon to the gate!"
- Ivarr: They've sent soldiers to stop our cart! I will wash the castle walls with Rhodri's blood.
- Eadric: Come on, lads! Roll it to the gate.
- Ivarr: Knock! Knock! Send 'em to the everlasting bonfire!
- Baeldaeg: Closer! Closer to the bloody gate!
The oil cart reached the gate.
- Ivarr: Now, Eivor! Set it ablaze!
- Eivor: Get back! I'll light it up.
Eivor threw a torch into the oil cart and ran. Once the oil ignited, the gate was blown to pieces.
- Orlaf: Great John the Baptist, it worked!
- Ivarr: Storm the castle. Give no quarter.
The army charged in to the first courtyard.
- Ivarr: Springalds! Keep your head down. Find cover. Push the mangy dogs back!
They reached another gate. Eivor either climbed around and opened it from the inside, or blew it open with some thrown oil jars.
- Eivor: That was clever.
- Eadric: Eivor opened the bleedin' gate!
The army charged their way forward into the next courtyard.
- Briton Warrior: Holy Saint Gelert! Danes!
Everyone fought their way to an upright drawbridge. Eivor shot the links and lowered the drawbridge.
- Eadric: Over the drawbridge, boys!
- Orlaf: Drawbridge be damned!
- Eivor: The keep! It's through there.
Eivor fought three Briton soldiers guarding the door to the keep.
- Briton Warrior: Protect the king!
Eivor killed the guards.
- Ivarr: Rhodri! Your dragon has arrived! He is hiding behind that door. Remember, he is mine.
- Eivor: Bash it down.
Eivor and Ivarr forced the door open.
Rhodri sat at a table in the throne room. When the door opened, he turned in his seat.
- King Rhodri: Ivarr the Boneless. You make a pitiful dragon.
As Rhodri drank from his flagon, Ivarr threw an axe, knocking the cup out of his hand. Rhodri stood up, drew his sword, and swung, while Ivarr picked up a stool as an improvised weapon. Rhodri swung and missed, giving Ivarr an opening to jab him in the chest with the stool legs, then use it as a vault to kick Rhodri in the face. He then picked up the stool and threw it at Rhodri, knocking the sword out of his hand. Ivarr went to punch Rhodri, who kicked in attempt to ward him off, but Ivarr launched himself at Rhodri. They struggled against one another until Rhodri headbutted Ivarr and threw him onto the bench, where he began punching Ivarr in the face before picking up a flagon and hitting him with it, drenching the Viking in alcohol.
Rhodri knocked a candlestick onto Ivarr, lighting him on fire. Ivarr screamed as he was engulfed. Eivor looked on. Rhodri's mad grin fell as Ivarr stood up still on fire, laughing. Rhodri began to back away, but Ivarr grabbed the candlestick and hit Rhodri in the chest and then in the eye. Rhodri screamed, holding his eye. Ivarr grabbed him and threw his head into the arm of a nearby chair, knocking him out. Ivarr walked away.
- Ivarr: Ahhh... Bastard kicked me in the liver. I need some fresh air.
The fire almost completely out, Eivor patted the last of the flames away as Ivarr laughed.
- Eivor: Ya.
Eivor glanced at Rhodri and followed Ivarr outside the keep, the assault completed as day broke.
- Ivarr: I've felled the rotting old oak.
- Eivor: He's not dead.
- Ivarr: No. I have something else planned. Spectacle, remember?
- Eivor: You have won, Ivarr. and if you will not kill him now, then let him go. Humiliation will chase him to the end of his days.'
- Eivor: The man is dying. Come away, let the Norns spin his fate.
- Eivor: He is nothing now but a sad sack of flesh. Kill him and be done with it.
- Ivarr: O, no, this will be good. I have some specifics in mind. A place and a method. Come!
- Eivor: All right. Let's get this over with.
- Eivor: Not just now. I will return when I'm ready.
- Ivarr: So be it. We will be waiting, right Rhodri, old friend?
- King Rhodri: (gasp of pain)
- Ivarr: There you are. Let us take King Rhodri to a spot he will fine... breathtaking?
- Ivarr: Load this lump of lard onto your horse and we will go. Take care he stays alive.
Eivor went to pick Rhodri off the floor.
- Ivarr: Eivor! Do not forget that load of rotten flesh called Rhodri.
Eivor picked Rhodri up and carried him to a horse.
- Eivor: Where are we going?
- Ivarr: An overlook I found while scouting. A view, one fit for a dying king.
- Eivor: There's no need for spectacle, Ivarr. Let the man die.
- Ivarr: No, no, no. He must die with style.
Eivor place Rhodri on a horse and mounted it while Ivarr climbed on his own mount.
- King Rhodri: (dying moan)
Ivarr laughed.
- Ivarr: How are you doing, dear king? Stay with us. You must not miss what is coming.
Eivor and Ivarr made their way out of the castle, Eivor following Ivarr.
- Ivarr: I killed King Ælla, King Osberht, King Edmund. And now King Rhodri. Who else can claim such a string of victories?
- King Rhodri: Just... finish me.
- Eivor: It is not my place to interfere in this feud.
Eivor and Ivarr continued on a path up the mountain.
- Ivarr: Valhalla must look such a sight.
Eivor and Ivarr passed Stiperstones.
- Ivarr: Does he breathe still?
- Eivor: Barely.
- Ivarr: Rhodri! Are you listening? For years I wore this scar with shame. Nicked by a Briton, and left alive! I tried to cover it with a beard, a cloak. But as your fame grew, I began to beam with pride. A king gave me this mark! What say you to this, Rhodri? Huh? Speak up, you old bag of sweat and grease.
They reached Manstone Rock and Ivarr dismounted and started up the hill.
- Ivarr: Here we are. Bring him close.
Eivor picked Rhodri off the horse and laid him at Ivarr's feet. Ivarr looked around.
- Ivarr: Haul him up there. To the top. And keep him breathing.
Ivarr pointed up to the peak of the mountain.
- Eivor: Finish this quicky, Ivarr.
After a short time, Eivor and Ivarr stood near the top of the mountain near a sheer rock face. Rhodri naked from the waist up, lying head and shoulders on a round rock.
- Ivarr: See here? A hungry blade!
Ivarr kneeled next to Rhodri with a knife in his hand.
- Ivarr: Now comes the dragon, to feed on his favorite meal... the blood eagle!
- Eivor: Ivarr, is this—
- Ivarr: The birth of a blood eagle is a sight to behold, my friend. First, I slice the length of your spine.
Ivarr began his blood eagle process.
- King Rhodri: Aaaah!
Eivor looked on solemnly. The world around Eivor faded as Odin appeared beside her. Ivarr kept slicing.
- Odin: That is a Norseman. The true essence of old heroes.
- Eivor: The blood eagle has no true meaning for Ivarr. He is doing it simply to take pleasure in suffering.
- Ivarr: Now to pull back the flesh.
- Odin: The method will always outlive the meaning. Few in time will care why this man died. But the how, that is a song for the ages.
- King Rhodri: (scream)
- Ivarr: (working grunt)
Odin and Eivor watched.
- Odin: The fog between good and evil grows thick over time. But glory never fades.
- Eivor: There is nothing glorious here.
- Odin: Life is not pretty. It is a bloody fight.
Odin walked away as the world faded back.
- Ivarr: Out come the lungs. And we spread them like wings...!
- King Rhodri: (scream)
Rhodri was then placed on display, strung up by his arms between two poles.
- Ivarr: All of Mercia can see him now.
Eivor turned away from the sight.
- Eivor: I've seen enough.
- Ivarr: We are not finished, Eivor. This sage we have written together, it needs an ending. Here and now.
Eivor turned back to Ivarr.
- Eivor: It is ended, Ivarr. I am done with this place.
- Ivarr: A fight to the death, you and me! If I win, I am the greatest vikingr who ever lived. If I lose, what a tale you have to tell.
- Eivor: You are battle-drunk, Ivarr. Goodbye.
Eivor turned to walk away.
- Ivarr: Poor Ceolbert. He barely said a word.
Ivarr pulled out the Briton blade and Eivor stopped in her tracks.
- Eivor: When?
- Ivarr: I pushed that dragon dagger into his heart.
Eivor turned to Ivarr.
- Eivor: No.
- Ivarr: Just a soft little squeal. Then nothing.
Eivor started toward Ivarr angrily.
- Eivor: You sick fucking bacraut (asshole)!
- Ivarr: The things a man must do. The trials one must face, the friends you must betray. To achieve one's destiny. And become King Killer forever more.
Eivor got in Ivarr's face.
- Eivor: Traitor! Ceolbert was—
- Ivarr: Like a son to me! Yes, yes! So fight me, Wolf-Kissed! To a glorious death!
Eivor grabbed her weapons.
- Ivarr: This is a life, Eivor! To fight high above the world. Valhalla awaits!
Eivor and Ivarr fought.
- Eivor: You were too reckless, Ivarr. A storm of mindless chaos.
- Ivarr: Mindless? Have you no sense of menace! When I stabbed Gwriad, you winced. You cower in the face of sudden drama.
They wounded one another.
- Ivarr: We are only warming up! How good will it feel when all is afire!
As they continued to fight, Eivor fell and Ivarr dropped her off a cliff, landing on her with his knees.
- Ivarr: O, if Ubba could see me now, he would rage with disappointment!
Ivarr taunted Eivor before attacking.
- Ivarr: Watch out!
He began throwing axes from his belt.
- Ivarr Bleed! Like Ceolbert.
Ivarr pretend to be stunned, only to blindside Eivor when she moved in for an attack.
- Ivarr: You're not so smart.
Eivor eventually threw him off another cliff.
- Ivarr: Come down, Eivor! I have only begun to enjoy this!
Eivor and Ivarr continued to fight.
- Ivarr: Do you remember your first kill? Mine was a boyhood friend. He squealed like a piglet. Like Ceolbert. Like the old days, yes? When iron bit into flesh like teeth into bread.
They continued to fight.
- Ivarr: Come on, Eivor.
Eivor began to get the upper hand in the fight.
- Ivarr: Do not shame me, Eivor! Finish me well.
After enough damage was dealt, Ivarr would stop and sit on the ground.
- Ivarr: Hold a moment, Eivor... let me ask you something...
Eivor spoke to Ivarr.
- Eivor: Speak, then. Or I take your tongue.
- Ivarr: Will you see your father in Valhalla, Wolf-Kissed? Or is the coward in Helheim, weeping tears of ice?
Before Eivor could reply, Ivarr suddenly attacked her.
Before Eivor could reply, Ivarr suddenly attacked her.
Before Eivor could reply, Ivarr suddenly attacked her.
Not falling for his ruse, Eivor was able to dodge away from Ivarr.
- Ivarr: Gulled again! Ha!
Eivor continued to wear Ivarr down.
- Ivarr: So close to death. So cold is my heart! Where are the winged maidens?
Eivor finally defeated Ivarr. He fell to the ground, axe barely out of reach.
- Ivarr: My long road ends. The Valkyries approach. My axe, Eivor. Hand me my weapon.
Eivor stood next to Ivarr's axe.
- Eivor: Odin may have use for you. But this is more than you deserve.
Eivor picked up Ivarr's axe and laid it on his chest.
- Ivarr: Ah...
- Eivor: Do not shame him.
- Ivarr: I hear... I hear their wings...
Ivarr died.
Eivor looked at the axe on the ground. Ivarr strained reaching for it.
- Ivarr: Eivor! Give it here...!
- Eivor: To Helheim with you.
- Ivarr: Eivor...
- Eivor: (sigh)
Eivor looked off into the distance.
Back at Caustow Castle, Eivor laid Ivarr's body outside the castle's bridge, where warriors were standing.
- Eivor: Carry the body to Quatford. We will say our goodbyes there. And send a message to Ubba. Tell him...his brother is dead.
The soldiers nodded and looked down at the body.
Eivor made her way to Quatford, where she found Bishop Deorlaf talking to Ubba in the longhouse. As Eivor apprached, Deorlaf stood.
- Bishop Deorlaf: Eivor, hello. Another dark day clouds our victory.
- Eivor: Bishop, Ubba.
- Ubba: Dead at the hands of a Briton. I cannon imagine the shame my brother felt in his final hour. Were it not for this peace...
- Eivor: I killed him.
- Ubba: You?
- Eivor: After peace was made, Ivarr murdered Ceolbert and pinned the crime on Rhodri. To get another swing at him.
- Ubba: How do you come to know this?
- Eivor: He told me himself.
- Ubba I am always one who desires the truth, Eivor, but this... this is a hard thing to hear. Did he die well?
- Eivor: He died a fighter. In all his glory.
- Ubba: As he wanted, then.
- Eivor: He died defending a grievous lie. I cannot say that is dying well.
- Ubba: Ivarr... I spent my whole life repairing the damage he inflicted. Still, he was my brother.
- Eivor: Death at my hand was his final aim. He wanted the glory of a bloody end.
- Ubba: An end you did not deny him.
- Ubba: With Ivarr gone, peace and quiet are now possible. That is something. I will console myself with the thought that we will meet again in Valhalla, axe in hand.
- Eivor: You will.
Eivor shrugged slightly.
- Ubba: For good or ill, he lived life by his own rules. What man can say better?
- Eivor: He lived his life at cross-purposes. I often found him strange and his actions puzzling. But not all men are meant to be understood.
- Ubba: He needs a proper farewell. I will prepare a ship. For his funeral pyre.
- Eivor: Bishop, send word to Lady Angharad. Say that her husband died by treachery. And that Ivarr has paid the price for it.
- Bishop Deorlaf: As soon as I am able.
- Eivor: Have you heard from King Ceowulf? I cannot imagine his grief.
- Bishop Deorlaf: He is felled by it. Still, he makes plans for this shire. I am to be ealdorman here. Therefore, Sciropescire declares herself your friend and ally, and will remain so for the length of my days.
- Eivor: I am grateful, bishop.
- Bishop Deorlaf: God go with you, Eivor. Wherever you may lead.
Eivor walked away with Ubba.
Ubba and Eivor pushed a boat with Ivarr's body into the river. Eivor lit an arrowhead on fire and handed it to Ubba, who nocked it in his bow. He drew and loosed the arrow into the hay, lighting the boat on fire.
- Ubba: To you, my brother. May your time in Valhalla be bright and glorious.
- Eivor: Raw bringer of battle-song, the boneless one sails into a singing-glory on a flaming water-steed.
- Ubba: Wind across the water, the battle maidens beat their wings to carry a king to Odin's hall of corpses.
After the funeral, Eivor stood on the shore.
- Eivor: Ivarr gone. Sciropscire an ally. I should confer with Randvi.
Outcome[edit | edit source]
Caustow Castle was successfully sieged, and King Rhodri was tortured and killed. Eivor learned Ivarr murdered Ceolbert and thus killed him in battle.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
-
Caustow Castle -
Eivor and Ivarr returning to start the assault -
Fighting in the castle courtyard -
Ivarr brawling with Rhodri -
Rhodri lying defeated on the ground -
Ivarr pointing to a spot on Manstone Rock to hold Rhodri -
Eivor speaking to Odin in her head as she watched Ivarr torturing Rhodri to death -
Ivarr's death -
Ubba reporting to shoot his fire arrow -
Ivarr's funeral boat lit on fire
