Degolas the Beautiful
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Degolas the Beautiful was a virtual representation of one of Eivor Varinsdottir's genetic memories, relived by Layla Hassan through the Portable Animus HR-8.5.
Description[edit | edit source]
Eivor approached a house with Proppa apologizing to her son about a lingering stench.
Dialogue[edit | edit source]
- Proppa: I am sorry, Son, for our wretched, stank-infested house!
Eivor approached the child.
- Eivor: Hej, child. Your home is cursed with shit?
- Anglo-Saxon Child: I wish I could laugh but... I cannot. Yes! That rank odor is from the Devil! The Devil who produced me with his prick! O, that smell! He dips his arrows in cow dung and never washes... says it brings him luck.
We're doomed to choke in Father's shit-house! The cow dung he keeps is in those crates. It has mutated into the most unholy of pungent monsters. O! O!
Yes! Once free of those disgusting dung-crates, the house will be clean again.
Eivor entered the house.
- Proppa: Be careful in there, stranger! The smell could kill you!
Eivor disposed of two crates.
- Proppa: These berries are the only thing keeping me alive in the face of such a vile smell.
Eivor disposed of the final two crates.
- Proppa: Wonderful, the house is habitable again!
Eivor approached the son again.
- Eivor: The stink from those crates is gone, but in my experience, if you do not cure the source, shit returns.
- Anglo-Saxon Child: My father. Degolas. He's a famous archer, but he never washes. Never. I'm going to confront him. That pox.
Mother, I'm going to get Father back. I've had enough, change is in the air. Literally!
Eivor followed the son down the hill to where his father, Degolas, was perched atop a platform over a pond.
- Anglo-Saxon Child: Father! The war is over! Our home is clean! You can stop stinking up the earth! Take a bath!
- Degolas: I will, one day, get down, but my heroic odor will persist! It is what gives me my special powers! God told me.
Eivor shot the platform out from under Degolas and he fell into the pond, cleansing him.
- Degolas: O! My mud-coat... Ah! I am soaked! Ugh! Water! I hate water!
My coating is gone. My layer of sacred warrior shit has run off.
The son ran back up the hill to his mother. Eivor and Degolas soon followed.
- Anglo-Saxon Child: Mother, you won't believe it! Father has been cleansed. We can live without the toxic clouds he once produced.
- Proppa: Thank the good Lord! Baptized again, my beautiful Degolas!
My love, you are finally clean, our home also. Come here my love, I can see your skin again!
Eivor approached the newly cleaned Degolas.
- Eivor: How does it feel to be clean again, Degolas?
- Degolas: This clean feeling is strange to me. I was happy as a degenerate mud-ball. I never worried about these vain ventures.
- Eivor: Your desires are not always those of your gods, your family, and your... well, those you lie with.
- Degolas: I feel I've sold my warrior self. The grim inspired my bow. My shit-arrows would strike fear into my foe's... nose.
- Eivor: Well I'm certain your arrows will still fly true, you did not lose your archer's skill.
- Degolas: Only time will tell. Be well, stranger.
Outcome[edit | edit source]
Eivor removed the stench from the house and cleaned Degolas.