- Eivor: Hit him back and make it personal. Attack his mother.
- Oswald: When you crawled from the womb, you were ugly and lame! Your poor mother, she fainted away from the shame.
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The Measure of a Norseman
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The Measure of a Norseman was a virtual representation of one of Eivor Varinsdottir's genetic memories, relived by Layla Hassan through the Portable Animus HR-8.5.
Description
TBA
Dialogue
The morning after Oswald's feast, Eivor woke with the dawn and left the longhouse.
- Eivor: Seems Oswald has set out for the day. I should have a word with him.
A little further down the path, she found Valdis speaking with someone.
- Valdis: Clear the mess in the longhouse. And wake my brothers with the coldest water you can find. Eivor, good to see you.
- Eivor: You are Oswald's powerful bride-to-be, Valdis.
- Valdis: I'm not his. This marriage is to be an alliance. Nothing more. Besides, the man can barely carry a sword or speak with conviction.
- Eivor: Oswald is many things, but a gifted leader he is not. Still, of everyone I have met here, he is the only one willing to be responsible for the place.
- Valdis: I will leave you to your day. You can find Oswald by the docks. Watching the river calms him, apparently.
Eivor continued on to the docks of Elmenham, where she found Oswald sweeping hay.
- Oswald: Ah! Good morning. Up bright and early.
- Eivor: You can labor like a thrall (slave), but you're no good with feasts. Not a good start for a king.
- Oswald: No, indeed. I find a solitary comfort in my menial labors. Not something a king should admit to, I suppose.
Eivor sat at a nearby table while Oswald continued sweeping.
- Eivor: The brothers shamed you at dinner. It's your duty to answer their insults. Don't let the matter lay unresolved.
Oswald set the broom aside, frowning for a moment before gathering himself.
- Oswald: O, it was a petty row with hen-house wolves. I'd sooner answer the moo of a cow than worry about their insults.
Eivor nodded as Oswald leaned against a hay trough and crossed his arms.
- Oswald: I have a wedding to plan and a Kingdom to save. I haven't time to suffer fools.
- Eivor: They betrayed your hospitality, Oswald. Where I'm from, that's a grave insult.
- Finnr: Well well, here's the mud-soaked Saxon who's been taxing my patience.
Oswald groaned as Finnr approached.
- Oswald: Steward Finnr... I know I failed to impress at dinner yestereve, but fear not. The Danes will come around in time.
- Finnr: You stake claim to the throne, you dazed dog with no bone. If Lord Halfdan were here, he'd squeeze Ale from a stone...
Eivor shook her head and stood.
- Finnr: ... yelling "Finnr, my drengr, stick this cur in the ground!"
- Eivor: All mewling and spitting, here's Finnr, the hound.
He has bark but no bite, just a puppy, I've found. - Finnr: (laugh)
Oswald looked between the two, confused.
- Oswald: What just happened?
- Eivor: That's flyting, Oswald. Using rhythm and rhyme to lay a man flat. Try it, match his verse.
- Finnr: There's no man you can lead, you dunce of the fyrds...
- Oswald: Uh... em... a glutton you are, just stop eating your words!
Finnr clapped.
- Finnr: Not bad, not bad...
(If "Make fun of his looks..." is chosen.)
- Eivor: He's an ugly puss, so when he brags, hit him back with something about his looks.
- Finnr: I hail from the North where the winter's our season...
- Oswald: But you're foul, you're a blister, you're a... a...
- Eivor: ... plague-ridden lesion.
- Oswald: O, yes! That's very good. Plague ridden lesion.
(If "Attack his lack of wit..." is chosen.)
- Eivor: He's got the wit of a boar, so when he insults you, make him feel stupid.
- Finnr: When I'm done with you, cur, you'll be raven-flock food...
- Oswald: But your brain's soaked in mead and your...
- Eivor: ... head's made of wood!
- Oswald: Wood! Head's made of wood.
(If "Laugh at his manhood..." is chosen)
- Eivor: Under all that posturing is a sniveling boy, so dig deep. When he brags, take a jab at his manhood.
- Finnr: I've sailed squalls and north winds. You? Not even a breeze.
- Oswald: But the winds that you sail...
- Eivor: ... blow between both your knees.
- Oswald: Blow between both your... O! You mean farting! Ha!
- Finnr: Oswald, my boy. You're useless without your raven. This one's wrong for the throne! He's too soft and too tame...
- Eivor: He'd take two seats on a longship! He'd do well to remember that, Oswald.
- Oswald: A walrus? A whale? A behemoth by name? No, it's Finnr the Fool, drunk and reeking with shame!
- Eivor: Go on. Give some back. About his height this time.
- Oswald: You claim you're a Dane, but your bloodline is stained. A wee dwarf must have ravished your mum in the rain.
Finnr looked distraught, at a loss for words.
- Eivor: Well spoken. Before sword clash and blood flow, we destroy our enemies with well-timed words.
- Finnr: You have a talent for verse, I'll give you that. But how long will that silver tongue hold up against an iron axe?
Oswald considered for a moment, then stepped up to Finnr.
- Oswald: Let's find out, Finnr. I challenge you to a holmgang!
- Finnr: You don't mean that, Oswald.
- Oswald: That's a fight to settle disputes, no? A holmgang?
Eivor walked up to the pair.
- Eivor: A fight to the death, yes.
Oswald stopped to think and reassess his words.
- Oswald: Let's talk it out, then.
Finnr shook his head, laughing.
- Eivor: Too late, the challenge has been made. But a fight against Finnr wouldn't be anything to boast about. You'll fight me.
Oswald put up his hands in shock, attempting in vain to dissuade Eivor from continuing to talk.
- Oswald: Hold on, this is—
- Eivor: That said, I shouldn't be seen killing a Saxon in the streets of Elmenham.
Finnr nodded, catching on to Eivor's plan.
- Finnr: There's a nice islet downriver, near Seahenge. The water will wash the blood clean away.
- Eivor: Prepare the square and we'll meet you there. I hope you're ready.
- Oswald: I have to be. Just give me a moment to mentally prepare.
- Eivor: Do not make us wait long, it would not be kingly.
Finnr left and Eivor spoke to Oswald once more.
- Eivor: Are you ready for the holmgang?
- Oswald: I hope so. I just need to prepare. I'll meet you at the islet.
Eivor left Oswald in Elmenham and made her way north to the meeting place.
-- TBA
Outcome
TBA
Trivia
- The memory is a reference to the 2018 American film, Measure of a Man, which follows a bullied teen learning to stand up for himself.