Testikles
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Testikles was a Spartan champion who represented his city-state in the Olympics during the 5th century BCE.
Plot
The Misthios first meets Testikles after one of the Two Kings of Sparta, Pausanias, orders them to escort him to the Olympic Games in Elis, as part of their attempting to reclaim their Spartan citizenship and their childhood home. They meet up with Testilkes' trainer, upon which they learn that he had been moved to an isolated island to train, in order to avoid any further incidents with Testikles' temper. In his trainer's words, "he knocked out five men and a bull... and he was only going to the market to buy fruit!"
The Misthios is advised to go fetch a bottle of Testikles' favourite oil, something he claims gives him the strength of Herakles himself. With or without the oil due to certain complications, they sail off on the Adrestia and find Testikles at his home, in a drunken stupor after consuming several amphora's worth of wine for "training." With some convincing, the Misthios gets them to board the Adrestia and sail off to Elis.
Barnabas and Herodotos are in awe of him, delighted to be in the company of an Olympic Champion, and ask him about his past victories during the long trip. Upon safely at Elis, the Misthios meets up with their friend, Alkibiades, who Testikles gets into a small row with. Still drunk, Testikles attempts to give the Misthios a hug, they dodge, and he accidentally trips on a bowl of fruit, off the dock, and into the sea.
"Surely, he can swim." the Misthios comments as they and Alkbiades watch from the edge, until they see blood in the water and a shark swimming away. With the realization that their champion is no more, Alkibiades states that they will replace Testikles, while Barnabas and Herodotos express their shock and dismay at this tragic twist of fate.
Personality
Testikles was an extremely enthusiastic, passionate, and skilled athlete, if violent, unintelligent, and crude. He bellows or shouts every single word he says, got into brawls over the course of mundane errands, and may have had a problem with alcohol, but he still brought Sparta no small measure of glories from his past victories in Pankration, so much so that even historians and constantly traveling sea captains have heard of and are in awe of his exploits. He was quite proud of his allegiance to Sparta, to the point where he gleefully shouts "SPARTA! WOO!" as he boarded the Adrestia.
His victories have mostly been to his brute strength than any measure of strategy or cunning, as in his own words, "Strategy is for people that don't hit hard enough." He was a highly impulsive and instinctive fighter, kicking an opponent in the head rather than wrestilng them into submission because he "felt like it," and also had a superstitious side to him, attributing a special brand of body oil to his victories, though he also states that he enjoys the sensation of being oiled.
Trivia
- The name is derived from Latin word testis, meaning 'witness'.
Appearance
Reference