Testikles: Difference between revisions
imported>Lady Kyashira Needs a rewrite. |
imported>Sol Pacificus Could still use a rewrite and also proper sourcing, but I corrected the grammar. Kind of wish I didn't get spoiled about his fate though... but ths article seriously needed help. Also, precise dates are needed, not a whole century. |
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'''Testikles''' was a [[Sparta]]n champion who represented his ''polis'' in the [[Olympics]] during the 5th century BCE. | |||
'''Testikles''' was a [[Sparta]]n champion who represented his | |||
==Biography== | ==Biography== | ||
Testikles met the exiled Spartan [[mercenary]] [[Kassandra]] after one of the two Kings of Sparta, [[Pausanias]], ordered her to escort him to the Olympic Games in [[Elis]] as part of her attempt to reclaim as part of their attempting to reclaim her Spartan citizenship and childhood home. At that time, he had been moved to an isolated island for training in order to prevent any further incidents with his volatile temper, for he had previously assaulted five men and a bull while on a simple errand to buy fruit at the market.{{Fact}} | |||
When Kassandra first found Testikles at his home, he was in a drunken stupor after having consumed several amphora's worth of wine, which he claimed was for training. It took some convincing before the athlete agreed to accompany the mercenary onboard her ship, the ''Adrestia'', and journey to Elis.{{Fact}} | |||
Barnabas and Herodotos | During the long trip, two members of the crew, [[Barnabas]] and [[Herodotos]], were in awe of him, and, delighted to be in the company of an Olympic champion, and asked him to share stories of his past victories.{{Fact}} | ||
===A freak accident=== | |||
Upon arriving safely in Elis, Kassandra met with another friend, [[Alkibiades]], who the still drunken Testikles promptly fell into a small row with. A freak accident followed this, where Testikles attempted embrace Kassandra, only for the mercenary to evade him, causing him to accidentally trip on a bowl of fruit and fall off the dock into the sea.{{Fact}} | |||
In spite of Kassandra's remark that "surely, he can swim", the athlete had little chance to do so as he was almost immediately devoured by a [[shark]]. while Barnabas and Herodotos express their shock and dismay at this tragic twist of fate. | |||
==Personality== | ==Personality== | ||
Testikles was an extremely enthusiastic, passionate, and skilled athlete | Testikles was an extremely enthusiastic, passionate, and skilled athlete even despite his propensity to be violent, unintelligent, and crude at the same time. It was his manner to rambunctiously bellow every single word he spoke and to get himself into brawls over the course of mundane errands, habit which were not helped by his alcoholism. Nevertheless, he still brought Sparta no small measure of glory from his past victories in [[Pankratio]]n, so much so that even historians and sailors who travelled far and wide had heard his exploits and were awed by them. He was quite proud of his allegiance to Sparta, to the point where he gleefully shouted "SPARTA! WOO!" as he boarded the ''Adrestia''.{{Fact}} | ||
His victories have mostly been to his brute strength than any measure of strategy or cunning, as in his own words, "Strategy is for people that don't hit hard enough. | His victories have mostly been to his brute strength than any measure of strategy or cunning, as in his own words, "Strategy is for people that don't hit hard enough". He was a highly impulsive and instinctive fighter, kicking an opponent in the head rather than wrestling them into submission because he "felt like it". He moreover harboured a a superstitious side to him, attributing a special brand of body oil to his victories, though he also stated that he merely enjoyed the sensation of being oiled.{{Fact}} | ||
==Trivia== | ==Trivia== | ||
Revision as of 17:14, 18 October 2018
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Testikles was a Spartan champion who represented his polis in the Olympics during the 5th century BCE.
Biography
Testikles met the exiled Spartan mercenary Kassandra after one of the two Kings of Sparta, Pausanias, ordered her to escort him to the Olympic Games in Elis as part of her attempt to reclaim as part of their attempting to reclaim her Spartan citizenship and childhood home. At that time, he had been moved to an isolated island for training in order to prevent any further incidents with his volatile temper, for he had previously assaulted five men and a bull while on a simple errand to buy fruit at the market. [citation needed]
When Kassandra first found Testikles at his home, he was in a drunken stupor after having consumed several amphora's worth of wine, which he claimed was for training. It took some convincing before the athlete agreed to accompany the mercenary onboard her ship, the Adrestia, and journey to Elis. [citation needed]
During the long trip, two members of the crew, Barnabas and Herodotos, were in awe of him, and, delighted to be in the company of an Olympic champion, and asked him to share stories of his past victories. [citation needed]
A freak accident
Upon arriving safely in Elis, Kassandra met with another friend, Alkibiades, who the still drunken Testikles promptly fell into a small row with. A freak accident followed this, where Testikles attempted embrace Kassandra, only for the mercenary to evade him, causing him to accidentally trip on a bowl of fruit and fall off the dock into the sea. [citation needed]
In spite of Kassandra's remark that "surely, he can swim", the athlete had little chance to do so as he was almost immediately devoured by a shark. while Barnabas and Herodotos express their shock and dismay at this tragic twist of fate.
Personality
Testikles was an extremely enthusiastic, passionate, and skilled athlete even despite his propensity to be violent, unintelligent, and crude at the same time. It was his manner to rambunctiously bellow every single word he spoke and to get himself into brawls over the course of mundane errands, habit which were not helped by his alcoholism. Nevertheless, he still brought Sparta no small measure of glory from his past victories in Pankration, so much so that even historians and sailors who travelled far and wide had heard his exploits and were awed by them. He was quite proud of his allegiance to Sparta, to the point where he gleefully shouted "SPARTA! WOO!" as he boarded the Adrestia. [citation needed]
His victories have mostly been to his brute strength than any measure of strategy or cunning, as in his own words, "Strategy is for people that don't hit hard enough". He was a highly impulsive and instinctive fighter, kicking an opponent in the head rather than wrestling them into submission because he "felt like it". He moreover harboured a a superstitious side to him, attributing a special brand of body oil to his victories, though he also stated that he merely enjoyed the sensation of being oiled. [citation needed]
Trivia
- The name is derived from Latin word testis, meaning 'witness'.
Appearance
Reference


