- Main articles: Skirmish in the Campagna District - Infiltration of the Janissary Camp - Destruction of the Great Chain - Colosseum Passion Play - Fall of the Palaiologi
- Your apprenticeship is coming to a close, so let me just offer a few comments on the final stretch. These last few assignments should involve FA status-worthy ones, which I leave to your choosing. You can partner on them if you wish, but note that I only generally credit it as half, unless specifically mentioned that you've done more than such. Thus I'd recommend projects of your own where possible.
- Riot assignment looks good, thus I'd suggest you pursue other event articles, such as Assault on Masyaf, or older ones such as the Pazzi Conspiracy.
- Or you could play to your other strengths, and work on character or location articles. Perhaps ones involving non-main games could use the most attention, such as Basilisk or Cyprus.
- What ever you choose (need not pick from my suggestions) just do list them here. Thanks Nos, it's been fun working with you :p =GuardDog 05:03, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
- It's been very fun working with you as well, Guard. You've taught me a lot, and I feel much more confident as an editor than I did at the outset of my apprenticeship, and for your time and effort, I sincerely thank you :).
- Regarding the topics, I'll do these assignments independently, as that's the way I work best (No offense to TST, you, or anyone I've worked with). I checked out the article Skirmish in the Campagna District, and I think I'll try that, though it's difficult to tell how an article is until actually editing it, in my experience.
- I just have one last question regarding this final stretch: How many articles will I be promoting to FA during these last ranks? I'm not impatient or anything :P, I'm just curious to see how many I should look for in total, but I understand if you're not sure or anything. Thanks as always. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 23:47, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
- You're very welcome :) Anyway, as you said, sure the Skirmish should be a fine aim for you. Both quotes and paragraphing are a bit lengthy, so you should be able to do good work with it. And you're right - if ever you start editing and find it non-FA worthy, just say so and it can be treated as a regular assignment, and it need not be nominated.
- I'm estimating you should do about 4 or 5 FAs to reach your graduation (depending on the difficulty or amount of revamping of each). You'll reach Rank 12 when Riot's been cleared, then you'll need about 2 to get to Rank 13, then 2 or 3 for Rank 14; at which I'll submit your evaluation and application into the Istruttorium. =GuardDog 02:55, January 13, 2012 (UTC)
- Well, today I had a good amount of time, so I got a lot of work done XD. In all honesty, I reworded basically the entire page, and replaced all of the images.
- At first, the article was essentially a walkthrough-type thing of the memories associated with the event; however, in its current state, I believe the article succeeds in explaining the actual event. That being said, I'll admit I was uncertain about a few things considering I've never revamped an article about a battle. Nevertheless, I believe the article is in good shape, even enough for FA (That sounds weird to say after just a day of editing, but it's my honest opinion), though as always, your comments and input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 05:26, January 14, 2012 (UTC)
- Went through it, and found that it reads quite well, and quotes fit. Just a few comments listed below:
- Format of quotes - know that you don't need to include the [...] unless it's in the middle of the quote. It's not needed at the beginning or end.
- Wording - mostly quite easy to read, save perhaps for three occasions. For the following, I'd recommend:
- "Acquiescing in Ezio's proposal, Bartolomeo briskly departed..." to "Giving in to Ezio's proposal..." or "Ceding to Ezio's proposal..."
- "Eventually, the Baron brandished his armament and directed it at Pantasilea..." to "Eventually, the Baron turned his gun upon Pantasilea..." or "Eventually, the Baron brandished his rifle toward Pantasilea..."
- "laude" to "praise" or "compliment"
- Opening section - though the current information seems fitting, I'd recommend an addition of background of the Bartolomeo-Octavian struggles in the opening section. Much like Riot, it should briefly mention the context of the battle in question (a short paragraph on the before and after). I think it's valid to speak of how long Bartolomeo's been fighting against the French (refer "Between A Rock And A Hard Place"), as well as mention how this battle is what closed their divided attention, and allowed the Assassins to focus on the Borgia.
- That's it so far, hope these comments are helpful :p =GuardDog 09:04, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Those comments are very helpful, though I hope just one time I can make an article perfect so there are no comments, as impossible as that seems XD.
- I've nominated it for FA, after implementing your suggestions and some final edits. I'm a bit nervous, but I guess I'm always that way when nominating articles for the highest possible status. If you have a moment to check the article out and vote, I'd be very grateful.
- Also, with this article nominated now for FA, I'll browse for other articles and just notify you here when I think I've located an optimal one, but I'll still keep my eye on the nomination page and act on any comments anyone makes. Thanks, as always :P. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 19:00, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Okay, I'll go vote for it right after this. And don't worry too much about the getting perfect article, there's a reason the wiki has so many eyes to work XD And even if there isn't something wrong, some people would change something slightly just for personal taste reasons, and that's understandable too. Doesn't mean it's not something to strive for though ;)
- Sure, will be waiting for your update then. Let's just keep your last 4 articles under this Blank Assignment header though, at least as long as this comments section doesn't get too long :p =GuardDog 01:27, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
- XD I can just imagine a massive comments section at the end of this. In seriousness, though, would you approve of my next work to be Infiltration of the Janissary Camp? It looks much better than Skirmish in terms of basic layout, though I definitely see some good work I could provide there. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 01:37, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Well, think of the wall of text as your farewell to the Coop XD Anyway, sure, the Infiltration should be fitting, I'll mark it here. Just one suggestion: some interesting info about the Janissaries is revealed during the relevant missions, so you might want to mention those too. Good luck with it. =GuardDog 01:52, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
- First off, I'd just like to inform you that Riot at the Harbor of Theodosius has passed as FA, so I will collapse that assignment once you've read this.
- Secondly, I did some major work on the Infiltration article today. I'm planning to edit some more tomorrow, possibly get a few others' (including yourself, hopefully) perspectives and comments on it, before applying it for FA. While I do that, I'll keep an eye on Skirmish's nomination, as well as look for other FA articles as this one is close to being done in my opinion. Have a nice night, Guard. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 08:15, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Don't worry, I collapsed it - congratulations on the nomination, will award the appropriate rank shortly. The Infiltration's opening section in particular sounds good so far, I'll look forward to the rest of your updates tomorrow then. =GuardDog 09:11, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
- I've completed my work on the article, and I believe it is ready for FA nomination. I did some more rewording and adjustments, and it looks worthy of that status in my opinion. I'll wait on nominating it in case you have any questions or comments.
- Also, with this article nearly finished, I was considering doing the article next in the timeline, Destruction of the Great Chain. It needs some expansion, particularly in the Aftermath section, as well as some rewording and formatting work. Would you approve of me to revamp this article next once Infiltration of the Janissary camp is done? Thank you. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 22:26, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
- All right, Infiltration looks good - seems complete, and your wording's improving. I only caught one typo in the header "Procuing Janissary attire", but that's about it. As for the third article, go ahead and do Destruction. I'd just recommend mentioning some background on the Great Chain, and the different methods armies would use to try to circumvent it. Good luck with it, and with the next nomination. =GuardDog 09:59, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
- Ah, thanks for that, I didn't even see it. I fixed that minor typo, and nominated it for FA, and hopefully I'll begin work on Destruction in the next few days. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 11:56, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
- I've done some more rewording and work on the article, and I believe it's now ready for FA; however, it's lengthy worries me, though I see no ways to expand it further :/. Any comments you have prior to nomination would be great.
- Also, for my next assignment, what do you think about Colosseum Passion Play? I've discovered that I fair well with these event articles, and I see a lot of work that could be done there in terms of wording, sections and section titles, and the overall amount of information, which could be reduced in my opinion as currently, from a cursory look that is, it feels like a walkthrough rather than an actual article. Thanks GD.
- Update - I did some work with the Colosseum article in terms of formatting, infobox, the opening section, and a few main sections which I've reworded up until "Assassination and skirmish." From here, once I receive your approval for this article, I'll just edit this one as I've done the past few: expansion and rewording of the introduction and aftermath, and rewording of the main paragraphs, with image replacement in there too. However, Sima has informed me that Vatsa is working on acquiring new images for Brotherhood memories, beginning with Patching the Leak. If this is the case, I would reword the entire article, leave the apprentice revamp tag on there, and then work on Fall of the Palaiologi (assuming you approve :P) while I wait for the images. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 21:49, January 20, 2012 (UTC)
- Hm sorry for the delay in my reply, Nos. Anyway, Destruction reads well enough, good opening section. Read through it, and you're right, it's slightly short, though on no fault of yours - I can't really think of anything else that can be added. Maybe mention that Yusuf and his Assassins helped by clearing the docks, and add into the aftermath how the Ottoman Navy was crippled? (which I assume since they weren't able to chase after Ezio :p) Otherwise, I approve of the nomination.
- As for the Passion and the Fall articles, sure both of those should be fine. And you're right, the Passion could use a couple more images, but waiting for Vatsa's high quality ones should be worth it. Your plan to work them in tandem should work for the last rank.
- Thanks for the update; as usual, just please let me know here how it's going so far :p =GuardDog 05:32, January 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Well I've finished the Passion Play article already XD, sorry if its too much to ask, but could you possibly review the article? I feel better about it in terms of length, though it would be great to get another's perspective. Also, once I act on any comments you have, I'll put this article on hold while I wait for Vatsa's images, and I'll begin to work on the Fall article. Lastly, I'll attempt to expand Destruction. Thanks! Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 05:42, January 22, 2012 (UTC)
- That was fast, sorry I didn't see your reply right away XD For my comments on the Colosseum article:
- Opening section - Maybe insert a little bit about the Passion play itself before saying the AC relevance. (Though not too much, perhaps little more than a phrase with the Wikipedia link, such as, "The Colosseum Passion Play was a dramatic depiction of the Passion of Christ held in the Colosseum in 1503, in which the Assassin...")
- Meeting with la Volpe - Typo error in quote description, I assume you meant "suspicions."
- Wording - perhaps "...the lover of Lucrezia Borgia, who also maintained a key..." to "...the lover of Lucrezia Borgia, who had been given a key..."; "repudiate" to "avoid"; and "Believing to be reprieved" to "Believing that he had been forgiven"
- Names - for uniformity's sake, do remember to use first names where possible, so all instances of "Machiavelli" in article body should be "Niccolò"
- Aftermath - incorrect link for the Apple of Eden
- Otherwise the article, seems quite complete with info and links. Do keep me updated, with your simultaneous articles as well (since I see you've been improving those too).
- Also, on a side note, I wanted to apologize for the misdirected advice I gave you for Destruction - perhaps I wanted to pad it out too much with information on the chain itself. Thanks for correcting it as per Blaidd's advice though. =GuardDog 02:02, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
- Don't worry about it, we all make mistakes :).
- In terms of an update, I rectified Colosseum Passion Play to your comments, and am now just waiting for the remaining images from Vatsa. Two of the articles, Skirmish and Infiltration, have recently passed for FA. Another, Destruction of the Great Chain, has received some comments, though I'll make any necessary changes to acquire votes.
- Lastly, I began my work today on Fall of the Palaiologi, with rewording finished up to the "Destruction of Byzantine weaponry" section. In addition, I just need to reword and expand that section, as well as reword the remaining portion of the article and expand the introduction after that. Once that's done, I'll make my final revisions, before waiting a day or two to receive your comments. After that, I'll nominate that article, and then monitor all of the nominations prior to the submission of my Istruttore application and evaluation by yourself.
- Now that I'm so-close to being done, I can't deny I'm certainly apprehensive for the voting, but I guess whatever happens is in the wiki's best interests after all; whether that is good or bad for me is irrelevant. Thanks for everything as always, Guard. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 03:32, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
- I've finished my work on the "Fall of the Palaiologi" article (yes already :P), and I'd like if you could have a look prior to nomination to reduce comments there and such. Also, just to make this easier and to clarify, here's the status of all of the articles for this final stretch.
- Skirmish in the Campagna District - Passed as FA.
- Infiltration of the Janissary camp - Passed as FA.
- Destruction of the Great Chain - At FA voting, I'd love a vote if you have a minute, thanks in advance.
- Colosseum Passion Play - Waiting on final images from Vatsa for accompanying memories.
- Fall of the Palaiologi - Waiting on final revisions from both you and myself.
- Well, that's pretty much it. I hope this clarifies this whole last bit, as I was rather confused myself. Thanks GD. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 02:00, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
- Good work on the nominations for those first two, you're halfway (or rather, a bit more than half) through this final stretch. Don't worry too much about the Istruttore nominations, I have faith in you :) Besides, no matter what happens, it's a noted achievement to make it through the Apprentice Initiative in the first place.
- Now, moving on to the working FAs, I've voted for Destruction, but seems Nesty may still come up with some comments, so I assume that's still pending.
- As for Colosseum, it seems worthy now, though I still see about 3 instances of "Machiavelli" in the last section. Should be a quick fix though. Anyway, as you said, mostly just the new images are needed.
- As for Fall... I really shouldn't be surprised anymore, but that was fast XD Okay, again, here are a few of my comments:
- Opening - no comment actually, this just seemed particularly well-written and detailed :p
- Liberation of Dilara - quote can be shortened, cutting out the "Did you happen to see that?"
- Wording - "assaulted to death" can be "beaten to death" or "tortured to death"
- That's about all. Thanks for the updates as usual, Nos. =GuardDog 13:06, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
- Alright, sorry about those extra "Machiavelli"s, it was just a basic error on my part. I've updated the Fall article according to your comments, and have nominated it for FA. I'll leave a comment again here when Vatsa's images come in for the Colosseum article, and then I'd just like to say a brief bit before my Istruttore application is submitted if that's alright. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 03:09, January 26, 2012 (UTC)
- Don't worry about it, it's a very minor issue. As for the Fall, I'll go vote on it after this, and will also wait for your final update on the Colosseum. Just remember that all will have to clear voting before your last rank.
- Regarding the brief bit you have to say before the Istruttore nomination, not to worry, I won't submit the application until you feel you're ready. It's up to you almost more than up to me, so say as you will when the time comes. :) =GuardDog 14:15, January 26, 2012 (UTC)
- Well, this is just a brief message to say that Destruction of the Great Chain has passed as FA, which now means 3 of the 5 articles have passed. Fall of the Palaiologi is currently voting, and Colosseum Passion Play just needs the final Vatsa images. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 03:00, January 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the update. Sorry for a slight miscount I had with your rank (should have been 13 after your first, then 14 after your next two), thus I'll just give you 14 now, a bit late. 15 will be awarded upon nomination of the last two, then we can have our final discussion here. =GuardDog 10:59, January 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Well, Fall of the Palaiologi has passed as FA, leaving only Colosseum Passion Play. The article's basically done, except that it does need those final Vatsa images. I'm not sure when he'll have them, though I hope soon. I would consider asking him again, but I don't want to come off as a badgerer. Possible if I nominated the article, it would catalyze him to get those final images? I'm not sure at this point, but I would like for the article to be nominated soon. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 01:24, February 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Sure, I agree, go ahead and nominate it. I just recommend you mention that it might still need images, and that you'll be adding them as soon as they're available. It might even be acceptable to some as is, and if not, at least people can begin reading/assessing it. =GuardDog 10:32, February 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Alright, well I've nominated Fall, so a final vote from you there would be great. I'll monitor the FA nomination page, and hopefully this can pass relatively easily and then I can just conclude my apprenticeship with that last final bit I was talking with you about. Thanks :P. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 03:02, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- Okay, so Colosseum Passion Play has passed as FA, which concludes my apprenticeship I guess (feels so weird to say that :P). Here's just what I'd like to say before you give you submit my application with your evaluation to the Istruttorium.
- I'd just like to say that I've done my best at editing, but I know that I'm not like you or Blaidd when it comes to wording, and I know that I certainly have some flaws. I know that these may consider you or others to vote Nay for my Istruttore nomination, which I understand. Despite this, I hope that my apprenticeship has showed you some of the good qualities I possess, but I won't attempt to argue why I believe I should be in the Istruttorium, merely because I don't like speaking about myself. And although I know that I have made countless mistakes on the wiki, whether they be in terms of behavior, editing, or something else, I would love to continue editing here as an Istruttore. Regardless of my nomination's outcome, however, I will still continue to edit here as it is an awesome place :).
- Well, that's pretty much it, GuardDog. I've had an awesome apprenticeship, and you've been a great mentor and instructor to me. You've taught me a lot, and I won't forget it. Your kindess and selflessness is pretty awesome too; I know that I wasn't the easier student to work with, but I hope that you enjoyed at least some of my apprenticeship. I can't thank you enough for taking me under your wing, and I wish I could make you an awesome avatar like Sixteen or Teller, but I lack basic art skill XD.
- Thank you so much, Master GuardDog, and have a wonderful evening. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 22:56, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
- Rest assured, I've seen plenty of your good qualities, and will make sure to mention them. Don't worry about any flaws too, I still have a healthy helping of those, even after almost a couple of years :p
- I've honestly enjoyed mentoring you, you've been such a hard-working and eager student the entire apprenticeship - I'm just glad I didn't disappoint you. Also, you're very welcome, and not to worry, your kind words are enough XD
- Anyway, I'm currently writing out your nomination - I wish the best of luck to you Nos, and hope to count you amongst the Istruttore ranks soon. Whatever the results of the nomination though, I fully support you, and look forward on continuing to work alongside you. Hope you have a good evening too :) =GuardDog 23:39, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
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