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Assassin's Creed Wiki:Apprentices/Nostalgia AC/PigeonCoop

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Revision as of 11:11, 17 January 2012 by imported>GuardDog (collapsing, comment)
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The following page is an apprentice assignment page, which acts as a connection between the apprentice, Nostalgia AC, and their Master, GuardDog. It exists as an external talk page, aimed at dealing with all aspects of the apprenticeship. Only the above mentioned users and the staff have permission to converse here. Any outside interference will result in an immediate ban from the wiki.

Shortcut:
AC:APP/NOS/C

Completed

Blank Assignment

Main article/s: Skirmish in the Campagna District - Infiltration of the Janissary Camp

Comments

  • Your apprenticeship is coming to a close, so let me just offer a few comments on the final stretch. These last few assignments should involve FA status-worthy ones, which I leave to your choosing. You can partner on them if you wish, but note that I only generally credit it as half, unless specifically mentioned that you've done more than such. Thus I'd recommend projects of your own where possible.
Riot assignment looks good, thus I'd suggest you pursue other event articles, such as Assault on Masyaf, or older ones such as the Pazzi Conspiracy.
Or you could play to your other strengths, and work on character or location articles. Perhaps ones involving non-main games could use the most attention, such as Basilisk or Cyprus.
What ever you choose (need not pick from my suggestions) just do list them here. Thanks Nos, it's been fun working with you :p =GuardDog 05:03, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • It's been very fun working with you as well, Guard. You've taught me a lot, and I feel much more confident as an editor than I did at the outset of my apprenticeship, and for your time and effort, I sincerely thank you :).
Regarding the topics, I'll do these assignments independently, as that's the way I work best (No offense to TST, you, or anyone I've worked with). I checked out the article Skirmish in the Campagna District, and I think I'll try that, though it's difficult to tell how an article is until actually editing it, in my experience.
I just have one last question regarding this final stretch: How many articles will I be promoting to FA during these last ranks? I'm not impatient or anything :P, I'm just curious to see how many I should look for in total, but I understand if you're not sure or anything. Thanks as always. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 23:47, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • You're very welcome :) Anyway, as you said, sure the Skirmish should be a fine aim for you. Both quotes and paragraphing are a bit lengthy, so you should be able to do good work with it. And you're right - if ever you start editing and find it non-FA worthy, just say so and it can be treated as a regular assignment, and it need not be nominated.
I'm estimating you should do about 4 or 5 FAs to reach your graduation (depending on the difficulty or amount of revamping of each). You'll reach Rank 12 when Riot's been cleared, then you'll need about 2 to get to Rank 13, then 2 or 3 for Rank 14; at which I'll submit your evaluation and application into the Istruttorium. =GuardDog 02:55, January 13, 2012 (UTC)
  • Well, today I had a good amount of time, so I got a lot of work done XD. In all honesty, I reworded basically the entire page, and replaced all of the images.
At first, the article was essentially a walkthrough-type thing of the memories associated with the event; however, in its current state, I believe the article succeeds in explaining the actual event. That being said, I'll admit I was uncertain about a few things considering I've never revamped an article about a battle. Nevertheless, I believe the article is in good shape, even enough for FA (That sounds weird to say after just a day of editing, but it's my honest opinion), though as always, your comments and input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 05:26, January 14, 2012 (UTC)
  • Went through it, and found that it reads quite well, and quotes fit. Just a few comments listed below:
    • Format of quotes - know that you don't need to include the [...] unless it's in the middle of the quote. It's not needed at the beginning or end.
    • Wording - mostly quite easy to read, save perhaps for three occasions. For the following, I'd recommend:
      • "Acquiescing in Ezio's proposal, Bartolomeo briskly departed..." to "Giving in to Ezio's proposal..." or "Ceding to Ezio's proposal..."
      • "Eventually, the Baron brandished his armament and directed it at Pantasilea..." to "Eventually, the Baron turned his gun upon Pantasilea..." or "Eventually, the Baron brandished his rifle toward Pantasilea..."
      • "laude" to "praise" or "compliment"
    • Opening section - though the current information seems fitting, I'd recommend an addition of background of the Bartolomeo-Octavian struggles in the opening section. Much like Riot, it should briefly mention the context of the battle in question (a short paragraph on the before and after). I think it's valid to speak of how long Bartolomeo's been fighting against the French (refer "Between A Rock And A Hard Place"), as well as mention how this battle is what closed their divided attention, and allowed the Assassins to focus on the Borgia.
That's it so far, hope these comments are helpful :p =GuardDog 09:04, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
  • Those comments are very helpful, though I hope just one time I can make an article perfect so there are no comments, as impossible as that seems XD.
I've nominated it for FA, after implementing your suggestions and some final edits. I'm a bit nervous, but I guess I'm always that way when nominating articles for the highest possible status. If you have a moment to check the article out and vote, I'd be very grateful.
Also, with this article nominated now for FA, I'll browse for other articles and just notify you here when I think I've located an optimal one, but I'll still keep my eye on the nomination page and act on any comments anyone makes. Thanks, as always :P. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 19:00, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
  • Okay, I'll go vote for it right after this. And don't worry too much about the getting perfect article, there's a reason the wiki has so many eyes to work XD And even if there isn't something wrong, some people would change something slightly just for personal taste reasons, and that's understandable too. Doesn't mean it's not something to strive for though ;)
Sure, will be waiting for your update then. Let's just keep your last 4 articles under this Blank Assignment header though, at least as long as this comments section doesn't get too long :p =GuardDog 01:27, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • XD I can just imagine a massive comments section at the end of this. In seriousness, though, would you approve of my next work to be Infiltration of the Janissary Camp? It looks much better than Skirmish in terms of basic layout, though I definitely see some good work I could provide there. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 01:37, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • Well, think of the wall of text as your farewell to the Coop XD Anyway, sure, the Infiltration should be fitting, I'll mark it here. Just one suggestion: some interesting info about the Janissaries is revealed during the relevant missions, so you might want to mention those too. Good luck with it. =GuardDog 01:52, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • First off, I'd just like to inform you that Riot at the Harbor of Theodosius has passed as FA, so I will collapse that assignment once you've read this.
Secondly, I did some major work on the Infiltration article today. I'm planning to edit some more tomorrow, possibly get a few others' (including yourself, hopefully) perspectives and comments on it, before applying it for FA. While I do that, I'll keep an eye on Skirmish's nomination, as well as look for other FA articles as this one is close to being done in my opinion. Have a nice night, Guard. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 08:15, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • Don't worry, I collapsed it - congratulations on the nomination, will award the appropriate rank shortly. The Infiltration's opening section in particular sounds good so far, I'll look forward to the rest of your updates tomorrow then. =GuardDog 09:11, January 17, 2012 (UTC)