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Assassin's Creed Wiki:Apprentices/Nostalgia AC/PigeonCoop

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Revision as of 21:40, 22 December 2011 by imported>Nostalgia AC (→‎Comments)
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The following page is an apprentice assignment page, which acts as a connection between the apprentice, Nostalgia AC, and their Master, GuardDog. It exists as an external talk page, aimed at dealing with all aspects of the apprenticeship. Only the above mentioned users and the staff have permission to converse here. Any outside interference will result in an immediate ban from the wiki.

Shortcut:
AC:APP/NOS/C

Completed

Castello Assignment

Main article: Infiltration of the Castel Sant'Angelo

Polishing and expansion of the article explicitly into featured status. I'd suggest in particular the addition of an introduction stating the difficulty and implications of infiltrating a Templar stronghold.

Will be considered completed upon closing of voting period, and may merit a rank if successful.

Comments

  • Get to this when you can, and hope you enjoyed your night as well :p =GuardDog 22:30, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thank you :P, I'll begin work soon. Also, I just removed the Apprentice template from the Topkapi article, as the images could take some time with Vatsa's connection issues. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 22:48, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
  • Hey Guard, the list below lists the things I need to do for the near future, created simply to help me during the assignment, and I'll strike any of these things that I finish.
To-do:
  • Edit and review opening section
  • Acquire a new infobox image
  • Add opening quote
  • Reword and re-edit entire "Concealed entry" section
  • Reword and (later) re-edit entire "Escape with Caterina section"
  • Reword and re-edit entire "Aftermath" section
  • Edit "Rescue of Caterina" section
  • Fix article section format
  • Make one final round of editing and rewording before gaining complete suggestions from GuardDog and another Istruttore.
Thanks, Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 00:59, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
  • I like the opening quote, though I think the description should clarify that they were speaking while within the castello.
Also, for the "Infiltration" section, I'd recommend shortening its quote (even just Cesare's first line there is enough), and renaming it to omething that emphasizes the Templars' plans that Ezio overhears, or suggests the gathering of intel.
And I agree with replacing the infobox image as well - I see no infiltration whatsoever in the current one :p Anyway, that's it, hope you don't mind my nitpicking comments so early in the assignment. =GuardDog 12:31, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
  • I don't mind them at all, these comments are very helpful, feel free to add them whenever you feel like it :P. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 20:51, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
  • Well, I added a new infobox image after a brief consultation with Istruttore Teller, and we agreed on the current one. I believe the article is complete, but I want your full and honest suggestions now, no matter if they're huge or minuscule. You can provide them to me here, or if its easier, I could hop on the IRC at a time that works for you so we can discuss it there while I edit. However, I believe you are 13 hours ahead of me (I'm on Eastern Standard Time), but I'd still be available for any time that works for you. Thank you.
UPDATE: I had Istruttore TheSt0ryTeller look over the article, and we rectified a few flaws, and he claims he would vote Yay if it was nominated for FA. So, when you have a moment, your complete thoughts would be very much appreciated, either given here, or over the IRC if thats easier. Thanks. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 03:36, December 17, 2011 (UTC)
  • Sorry for the delay - first weekend of Christmas break, you know XD
Anyway, moving onto the article, it's very well filled out now, good work. As I would say if this were the nomination page, information is well-worded and complete, particularly the aftermath section.
My recommended changes are as follows, though they're relatively small:
  • Opening section - Good and comprehensive, though would recommend mentioning the year (as per other major events) and should cut the first paragraph into two, probably at "The Assassin prepared himself for a difficult..."
  • Name - For standardization, but I'd recommend changing the occassional mentions of "Machiavelli" to "Niccolò", just to match referring to all characters by their first names
  • Quote - The quote in "Escape from the Castel" is also incorrect, given Ezio said it. Might also be more clarified if you give the whole dialogue, starting from Ezio's asking "Can you walk?"
  • Castel - There was some debate on the term before if I remember right, but referring to it as "the Castel" might not be correct. Would probably be better to refer to it as "the castello", or with its full name.
  • Images - very balanced, but I'm not so sure about the infobox image. I would have chosen "CCrasher 3.png", since the castello's visible there, but I do see some merit with the current one. Can I know how the two of you concluded that that would be best? I'm open to the idea either way :p
That's it then, well done with this assignment. After these corrections, I'd fully support its nomination. Good luck for it, apprentice :D =GuardDog 11:18, December 19, 2011 (UTC)
  • XD, these suggestions were very helpful, so thank you. I have done as you have suggested, and the article is now nominated for FA status. For easier access, here is a link to the FA nomination page, as well as a link to the article itself. Thank you. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 14:32, December 19, 2011 (UTC)
  • Well the article is currently in the nomination phase, and is doing fairly well, no one has objected to it becoming FA yet. On a more unrelated note Guard, your story for Teller's holiday blog is great. I read it earlier this morning, and the detail and wording is awesome and it seems as if it could be canon :P. Nostalgia AC Let's talk. 19:40, December 22, 2011 (UTC)