The following page is an apprentice assignment page, which acts as a connection between the apprentice, Nostalgia AC, and their Master, GuardDog. It exists as an external talk page, aimed at dealing with all aspects of the apprenticeship. Only the above mentioned users and the staff have permission to converse here. Any outside interference will result in an immediate ban from the wiki.
Format of some of the headers need fixing, and a few links need updating (particularly Savonarola's lieutenants).
However, mainly, the list needs updating to include missing media, as well as the Templars within them. As I see it, the list needs Project Legacy, Ascendance, The Fall and the French comic, plus a few from Revelations.
If you have any questions, or just want to mention any updates, speak here :) =GuardDog 06:04, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
I'll get right to work on this when I return from class later today, but I just wanted to know if I should add the Apprentice rework template to the article currently, or whether I should just work on in through my Sandbox? Nostalgia ACLet's talk 10:55, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
I was actually a little unsure with that - given it's a project sign-up page, people may avoid signing up if they see the revamp template. Might be better not to put it at all. Thus, you can either edit it in parts, or just use your sandbox, your choice =GuardDog 11:04, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
Guard, I just wanted to update you on the status of this first assignment. Even though I received this assignment very recently, I believe I have updated it to the specifications you described. I added the lone assassination target from Ascendance, Octavian de Valois, as well as the assassination targets for The Fall and the French comic. I also added the Revelations assassination targets, but there was only one to add, The Crusader, as the rest have yet to be confirmed as Templar Agents/assassination targets in the game. Lastly, I fixed the spacing and headings, and some other minor things (Adding the tag for articles with Good status, updating the amount of articles, that sort of thing.) Take a look at it when you get a chance, and have a good night, and sorry for this novel of an explanation XD. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 01:40, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
Good work, Nos, not to mention fast. XD I've looked it over, and found it complete. This's nearly done, however, sorry that I forgot to mention something - please also add the project's template to any characters that weren't previously on the list. Just for completeness' sake =GuardDog 04:35, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I just added the template to all of the articles that were missing it, sorry about that. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 10:53, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
No worries, I forgot to mention it. Anyway, well done - that's officially merited your first rank up (there're 15 to go, so expect them to start out pretty quickly, and slow down later :p). I'll be posting your next assignment later today or tomorrow. =GuardDog 10:57, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
Mainly, page requires a more detailed, expanded and fully sourced history section; preferably with subsections to make it easier to read. General formatting (particularly of images) could use improvement as well.
As per usual. Requires an amount of expansion (particularly for info from Lineage, and a little from AC2) thus take as much time as you need. =GuardDog 18:23, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
Quick question Guard sorry if this seems obvious, but with articles on existent locations (i.e. Venice) should the article still be written in the past, or should it be written in the present? Nostalgia ACLet's talk 22:20, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
Don't worry, I wonder about that too sometimes. In the pattern of other locations, the lead sentence is in present tense ("Venice is a city located...") while the rest is past. Generally, anything still true can be in present, though I personally prefer past for cohesiveness' sake. (On a side note, really, feel free to ask me anything. That's what I'm around for :p) =GuardDog 06:15, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Guard I just wanted to give you a quick update on my work on this assignment so far.
Images - Replaced nearly all of the article's images with better ones, and have gotten rid of any unnecessary and/or badly placed images.
History - Renamed and named multiple sections, and added entire information for Lineage and most of AC2 information. I'm going to proofread, edit, and maybe expand this even more to make sure it encompasses everything about the city.
Landmarks - Fixed layout and did minor rewording for listing, also fixed it so that it's all in a smooth layout and removed double links for it, but I'm wondering if I should add any images to this section? I wasn't planning on it but if you think it should have some I'd gladly add them in.
Carnevale - Minor rewording for this section, with the addition of an accompanying image.
Trivia - Trimmed down a bit and did some minor rewording.
Alright so that's all I've done so far, as you can see I'm uncertain whether to add images to the Database entry, Landmarks, and Trivia sections, but overall I hope to be done by Monday if that's ok :P Nostalgia ACLet's talk 04:59, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
Hm, good choice of lead quote. Anyway, you've made a lot of progress - thus, some critique:
Images - Much better choices. As for placing one in the Database section, yes, I'd recommend it. Any general image of Venice from the gallery would be good - better to look at then just plain text. As for Landmark section, images should only be those that are relevant. As such, the Basilica or Piazza San Marco images might go well. Trivia seems fine as is.
History - may just be my personal preference, but the History section might be easier to read if each paragraph was shorter. Though as you said, you're still going to proof it, so just might want to keep that in mind. As much as I've glanced through it, info seems complete already though.
Landmarks - I'd recommend not having the lead sentence at all, as it's rather self-explanatory. Or at least removing the "in AC2" part, as it's OOU.
Carnevale - I'd suggest merging this as a subsection in History actually, or at least moving the section right after it - your choice, either's fine.
Sourcing - this is rather important for the History section, as it's from multiple media. Do you need tips on doing this? If so, just let me know~
Overall, it's looking much better so far. You seem to choose quotes well, thus I'd recommend adding one more somewhere in the History section, if you can find one. Keep at it ;) =GuardDog 09:39, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
Hey GD I just wanted to let you know that I've finished the assignment, take a look at it when you get a chance and if there's anything that I missed or needs to be added, just let me know. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 18:03, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
Just final notes that I failed to notice earlier - the references/source section should be the final one, only above the defaultsort and the game templates. Also, just remember when sourcing, you need only use " <ref name="Assassin's Creed II">''[[Assassin's Creed II]]''</ref> " the first time. All sourcing following them may merely be written " <ref name="Assassin's Creed II" /> " Just amend this, and it should be done. =GuardDog 06:59, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I just fixed that minor error and removed the Apprentice template from the article. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 12:23, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
Very good then, assignment closed. Will have the next one up later today. =GuardDog 01:04, November 7, 2011 (UTC)
Similar to that above. Merging of History and Targets section, as well as related rewording, sourcing and subsectioning. More appropriate images are needed as well.
As usual. Also, just as a heads-up, I'll be taking a break from the wiki around Nov 11 (for obvious reasons :p), but rest assured I'll check up on any work you complete after I get back. =GuardDog 11:28, November 7, 2011 (UTC)
Well, today I was lucky enough to get a lot of work in on this assignment.
Quest for the Chalice - Hoping to finish this section tomorrow, haven't done much to it yet.
Hunt for the Nine - Added entire section and finished it. As always, though, I'm going to work on editing and refining it tomorrow as well.
Solomon's Temple - Hoping to add this section either tomorrow or Wednesday.
Maps - Removed section and moved images to Gallery.
Gallery - Added some images and moved some from Maps section to there.
References - Going to add references to each paragraph and add the reflist tags to this simple section.
My goal is to be done this article by the 10th, so you have some time to review it before you take your break. Lastly, I just had three quick things: there was a Maps section in the article, but I removed it and just moved those images to the gallery, is that ok, or should Maps have their own section? Also, do you think the infobox image is okay? I myself want to crop out the part which has Altaïr standing on a beam, and I could not find any better images (In my opinion). Lastly, I've noticed I'm working fast (If I do say so myself), and I just wanted to make sure that this is not a problem for any reason. Thanks Guard, and have a good night. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 02:09, November 8, 2011 (UTC)
Looks good, particularly the Hunt for the Nine section. And sure, the 10th should be good. Hopefully I can leave you with some new work before I go as well.
Now, in answer: First, I'd think you chose right, the maps should just go under the gallery. Second, yes, cropping the infobox image should be fine, since Altaïr might be a bit distracting - just remember to link back to the original image in the info of the new file. Third, yes you are going pretty quickly, but that's to be commended. Keep it up, really, there's no complaints from me. Anyway, thanks for the updates too. =GuardDog 02:19, November 8, 2011 (UTC)
I just wanted to briefly let you know that I've finished the article, Master. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 03:56, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
...I was honestly thinking that this was a relatively short assignment, and would have given you a similar one before your next rank up. But you've expanded it well beyond my expectations - really good work. Assignment closed. :) =GuardDog 11:24, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
Again, needs expansion and subsectioning of the History section, as well as addition of more relevant images. Landmarks section also holds OOU references.
I can't find a reference of it on the wiki, but the Florence apprentice contract from Brotherhood would be relevant here. You may want to add any known information from Embers as well.
Sorry if you're getting tired of locations. :p Will change it up for the next one, just for a little variety. Though really, you seem to do well in them, and as the HI chief, it seems appropriate. Good luck with this one then, apprentice. =GuardDog 11:24, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
I really like these location assignments, :P, so don't worry about it, and as you said it helps me since I am Chief Editor of WP: Landmarks and Locations. But I just had a quick question: while I was (and still am) editing the article, I added the full Brotherhood template at the bottom (I honestly have no idea what to call that XD) and I noticed that under 'Locations,' Florence is not listed. However, the cities and locations visited during the demolition of Leonardo's machines are, so I was wondering if that template should be fixed, or if it was made that way intentionally? Thank you in advance. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 00:22, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
(I actually don't know what to call those either XD) And huh, I never noticed. Since Venice is missing as well, I'm supposing the Cristina memories weren't included. But sure, you can edit the template page then to add them both in, seems appropriate. =GuardDog 09:38, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Guard, I understand that you're still absent and enjoying your break, but I just wanted to let you know that I've completed the assignment. I'll keep an eye out to see when you return, but for now enjoy your break, and Revelations of course. Thank you, Master. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 05:54, November 13, 2011 (UTC)
As you can probably see, I'm back ;) And yep, I did enjoy both of those. Good work while I was away, the page is incredibly detailed now. You can expect the next assignment up soon. =GuardDog 09:22, November 20, 2011 (UTC)
Assignment to be headed by Story, though any progress will be credited to the apprenticeship as necessary. =GuardDog 09:22, November 20, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, sounds good. Sorry that I haven't gotten to starting this yet, I've been travelling all day and just got back. However, I plan to talk with TST tomorrow, and hopefully we can work out a plan to both facilitate and expedite this assignment for both of us. I'll add our plan (or whatever we come up with) here, and have a good night Guard. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 05:28, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry if I'm not allowed to post in here, seeing as I'm the "head" of this assignment I believe I should be allowed to comment, but that will be up to G.D, anyway, Nos, today I will finish off the Sentinel section, do what you can to improve it once it's done and such. Still have to wait for some pictures to come in but other than that, that's all for now. :) TellerWords, On my Screen :O 05:43, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
No worries, take your time with it, Nos. Will be looking out for that plan. And Story, of course you can post, it's your project too :p You two feel free to discuss here if ever you need a place for updates. =GuardDog 11:01, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
Teller and I have agreed to a plan where he'll add most of the sections, and then once he is done editing, I will edit it and refine it. He told me the other day that he was in the midst of working on the first key section, which I'll be watching for to edit. On a side note, I'm currently trying to "fix-up" the article Francesco de' Pazzi in order to help it receive GA (I nominated it too soon), so I'll be working on that as a side project, which I may (if its not too imposing) ask for your help with, Guard, if that's okay. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 04:04, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Alright Nos, the First Key section is done, do your work mate. :D --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 10:01, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Ah, I haven't checked the GA nominations lately. Sure, just ask if you need anything ;) Also, if I can recommend (based on just a cursory look), remember to use the date format [day] [month] [year], and that you need not have day and month in the (birth - death) portion. =GuardDog 12:51, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Done, First Key section is edited. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 11:17, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
I just wanted to give you an update, Guard, as to how Teller and I have been faring over the past few days.
General outline - A couple of days ago, I came up with a rough outline to guide us as we work on the page. I've left sections the sections blank, as we are going to edit each one at a time. These sections and titles are subject to change though, depending on how we (TST, you, and I) feel.
Travel to Cappadocia - I added this entire section, and all of its subsections. However, Teller and I have agreed to go back to our old plan of him adding most of the sections, and myself refining and editing them. This will help keep the writing style consistent.
Attack on Suleiman I - I edited this section, and TST plans to wrap it up soon I believe.
So far we've just been adding and editing sections as we are able, and it seems to be working fine. We plan to edit it and refine the entire article randomly over time as well though, when we feel it is necessary. Lastly, I believe Teller wanted a word with you, Guard, but I've you've already talked to him then just ignore this. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 08:15, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
Quick status report for you Guard, so far your Apprentice has:
Spaced out some sections properly.
Created the Cappadocia section of the article.
Changed some formatting.
Created some headers to help us with some borders and travel to a specific section faster.
Reworded some sections to a higher standard.
Seems good so far, we'll keep at it, a new name has to be decided but we'll see to it that all the info is there before discussing that any further. For now, I'll work on Revelations (last section with Altaïr's Library) since I've been looking forward to doing that since I passed that game. xD Anyway, all well and good, I just hope that Nos gets some good recognition for his hard efforts considering I've been lacking because of some others revamps. --Teller out. --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 11:19, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
Hm sorry, I'm a bit late reading the updates in this section. Nice work both of you, and thanks for the heads up ;) Nos, I'm assuming this is what you meant.
Now, as for section titles, they mostly sound fitting to me, just two suggestions: "Search throughout Constantinople" might be easier to say if it's just "Search through Constantinople," and perhaps "Arrival of Selim" could be "Sultan's Return."
Anyway, that's it, I'll go update the progress accordingly :D =GuardDog 03:12, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
Added in Infiltration section, I'm beginning work on the "Assassination of Tarik" and should have it done by the time Nos gets here. continues working --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 10:27, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
The task has been completed, as we speak, Nos is adding quotes and all information is there. Here's a little update on his portion of work.
Added Departure section
Added Carriage and Sultan sections.
Added Watching over a meeting section.
Added Quotes.
That's his progress. It's done now, look over it and let me know. Then I'll publish it. --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 07:16, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Reading through it now, give me a few minutes for detailed comments.
Though my only comment from a cursory look is that a few of the images are too small (in Search through Constantinople and Entering the Arsenal). Though that's about all I can see so far; generally looks pretty clean for such a huge article. =GuardDog 07:26, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Mostly a cursory look, but here are a few more comments:
Update Grand Master of the Assassin Order link to the Mentor
Standardize whether {{Main}} template goes before or after the quote. It alternates in several sections.
Seriously though, that's about all I can find :p Overall, it looks good you two, I approve. Should probably be linked to as the Main Article under the Plot subsection of Revelations when it's up. =GuardDog 07:39, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
I just fixed the images and links as you suggested, Guard, and added a link to it in WP: Timeline. NostalgiaLet's talk. 07:53, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
A character assignment for a change :p =GuardDog 12:51, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I've finished already :P, so here's a recap of what I did.
Opening paragraph - Did some minor rewording and fixed a redirect link.
Biography - Addition of section.
Meeting Shao Jun - Addition of sub-section, expansion, rewording, and addition of related image.
Impending threat - Addition of sub-section, rewording, and expansion of original writing.
Florentine market - Addition of sub-section, expansion of original writing, addition of related image, and rewording.
Trivia - Attempted to come up with some things from Embers, but could not find anything noteworthy, really.
Gallery - Addition of three images and fixing of its layout.
References - Renamed from previous 'Source' section, added "{{Reflist}}" tag, and removed now unnecessary source.
Thanks Guard, and I'm hoping to look over the Francesco article later and see if I may/do need help with anything there, and thanks in advance for any help. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 21:41, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Well done (and quick) as usual. However, just one correction. The {{reflist}} only need be used if the article has multiple sources/references. For articles such as this, similarly to Fra Giocondo or Marcello Auditore, instead of ==References== {{reflist}}, you can just use ==Source== ''[[Assassin's Creed: Embers]]''. Mostly saves effort and space. =GuardDog 03:15, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
Another thing: as for the Francesco article, I read it a little more thoroughly, and have some advice.
Early life - can be derived from his Database article, and gives better pre-game background.
Pazzi conspiracy - well worded and complete, though would suggest cutting paragraphs into smaller ones.
Characteristics and personality - could use a quote if you can find one.
That's it so far, good luck with it ;) =GuardDog 03:21, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for all of your help, Guard. I fixed the references part of the Flavia article, and I also added in the things you suggested to Francesco's article. If you have a moment to look over it and vote whenever, then that would be great. Thank you. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 04:24, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
Each of the characters require a revamp to match quality and format of other Templar agents. Information from Master Assassin missions must be added as well.
Mass assignment now, in some attempt to keep up with your fast progress :p =GuardDog 06:53, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I've finished already :P, gotta love weekends. Now, here is a general outline of the work I did for each article:
Opening section - Minor rewording, link fixing, and addition of WP: Targets header.
Early life - Added this section to all articles, I basically just got it from their Abstergo entries, but there was limited information despite that.
Middle section involving Assassins - Added this section to all articles, information taken from specific memories, and I added a quote from that specific memory.
Death - Added this section to all articles, it basically just details their death and the memory surrounding it, and also has a quote from their final words.
Final words - Added this section to all articles as I saw some other Agent articles had it, pretty self explanatory: it just has their final conversation with Ezio or an Apprentice.
References - Removed {{Reflist}} tags and added Revelations as the source and renamed the section to simply "Source" as it does only have one source.
Well, that's the work I did. You'll likely notice the lack of images on the articles, which was one of my concerns too. However, I was unable to find any images that weren't from the multiplayer or weren't used in the infobox, and no walkthroughs on YouTube were good enough quality for screenshots. Also, I made sure to link these articles from the Revelations section of WP: Targets so they are now listed there. Thanks. NostalgiaLet's talk. 01:24, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Good work, particularly in early life, they all meet standards now. Just some format corrections:
Final words - Just as quotes, in the final words sections, remember to put spoken words in italics.
Lead quotes - I recommend you shorten three of them. Too long quotes draw attention from the article body. Specifically, Damat's first could be cut at "Thank you, efendim" and Georgios' and Damat's death lead quotes could also be shortened (just as you did for Lysistrata) as you provide the full quote in the final words anyway.
That's about it Nos, after that, assignment closed. =GuardDog
12:50, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I made the minor fixes to the articles, now I'll just close this with a nice collapsible :P. NostalgiaLet's talk. 15:25, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, probably won't last you too long, but good luck with it. :p
Also, previous images on this article were removed, I'm assuming since an actual temple (perhaps that shown by Jupiter) might be the only one appropriate for it. Thus, I recommend you mostly focus on quotes, information and sources. =GuardDog 02:23, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
Well, here is a plan for what I aim to do, hopefully tomorrow, with the article. Also, I've done some very brief work on it so far.
Opening section - Minor rewording, and possibly some expansion.
Creation - Rewording, expansion, addition of a quote, and detailing.
First Catastrophe - Rewording, minor expansion, and quote addition.
Modern Times - Expansion, some rewording, and quote addition.
Also, I was wondering if you think the article needed some more sections, as it seems brief right now with just the history and references sections, even though I do plan to expand on the article. Well, that's it for today, if there's anything you feel is missing from my plan, please tell me (as you always do :P). Have a good night, Guard, and I'll hopefully wrap up this brief assignment tomorrow. NostalgiaLet's talk. 04:29, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
History and references are fine as the only sections, as long as the History is subdivided. Overall, your plan sounds good, I'll be checking back tomorrow then. You have a good night as well, Nos. =GuardDog 08:35, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
I've finished the assignment, as I'd hoped, and edited the article according to the plan. Besides that, I did some minor things, such as the addition of some necessary era tags and the clean up of some other minor things around the article. However, I was unable to find any images that would have actually served well for the article. Thank you, and have a good one. NostalgiaLet's talk. 01:33, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Very good, fitting quotes and information seems complete now; assignment closed. Also, don't worry, I didn't really expect any images, as they're not yet available. In the future perhaps. (Also, please collapse this after you've read it :p) =GuardDog 02:20, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Requires rewording and addition of missing information, particularly the spies sent by Tarik Barleti, and the evacuation during the fire.
Comments
Back to locations. This page is a little too Ezio-centric for my taste. It mostly requires addition of Tarik's investigations and planned ambush, perhaps mention of the Templar-made map to Cappadocia, and the civilians' mass evacuation. =GuardDog 02:20, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
I've finished the assignment, so here's a quick review.
Opening section - Minor rewording, changed tense to "is" as it still is a region (as discussed in Serenissima Assignment), and addition of infobox with available information.
Templar headquarters - Rewording, image alteration, and expansion to include more about Manuel in relation to Cappadocia.
Assassin invasion - Rewording, image alteration, expansion, and formatted to only include up to the destruction of the weapons depot part.
Hunt for Manuel - Rewording, addition of sub-section, formatting, and image alteration.
Fire - Addition of sub-section, formatting, addition of image, and rewording.
Trivia - Clean up and removal of bad quality or useless trivia with OOU content.
Gallery - Nothing changed, as there are not that many great images of the city that don't involve Manuel's death or something. Also, I would remove the Ubisoft watermark on one of the concept art images except its specific license requires that it be left there.
Well that's it, I added the parts like you asked and cleaned up the article. You may have noticed, though, that I did not go into the details of Tarik and Manuel's meeting, as it was in Constantinople, and Sima advised me to not stray too far from things not directly related to the location; after I mistakenly added too much information about their meetings and information not related to Cappadocia. As always, have a good night, and sorry for this wordy explanation :P. NostalgiaLet's talk. 23:43, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Well done, a good read - locations really seem your forte. Also, I like your wordy explanations, they make my review a lot easier :D
And on another note, I apologize if my stress on Tarik's involvement was a bit overstated. You balanced it correctly despite that though (appreciate Sima pointing that out :p) and all requested and valid information seems complete. Assignment closed. =GuardDog 10:59, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Pursued on apprentice's own initiative, marked here only for listing and accreditation purposes. =GuardDog 06:53, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Francesco has passed as GA, and is waiting closure now that it has 4 Istruttore votes and no objections. I plan to edit and refine the Emilio article in the coming days alongside of my new assignment concerning Templar agent articles. NostalgiaLet's talk. 07:30, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Good, good. Keep at it, and just ask if you need anything. =GuardDog 08:15, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
I just thought it'd be easier to give you this here, so here is the userbox for giving me the suggestions and help that led to Francesco's article being promoted to GA: (template). Thanks for your help with this one, Guard. NostalgiaLet's talk. 09:16, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks Nos, I got it. And really, it's no problem. =GuardDog 10:49, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
I just wanted to let you know that I've finished my work on Emilio's article in my sandbox, which can be viewed here, and so if you have a moment, it'd be great if you could look it over and see if there is anything that needs to be fixed prior to nomination. Also, I hope its okay, but I just made the past assignments into collapsibles to save space, but have left the current assignments as they are. NostalgiaLet's talk. 20:04, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Sure, collapsible is fine, looks neater. I just returned the headers (for the table of contents) and changed the color if that's all right. As for the Emilio article, I'll look over it soon as I get back from class - just stopped by to read your update. =GuardDog 01:03, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Looks good, complete and fine choice of quotes. I only have a couple of suggestions:
Opening section - first paragraph could be shortened to "...was a tyrannical Venetian merchant, and secretly a member of the Templar Order."
Personality - though the portrait in this section deserves to be in the gallery, it doesn't seem appropriate for describing an "oppressive and demanding man." I'd suggest moving the one from "Meeting in Tuscany" into Personality, and putting the second gallery image in its place.
After those, I approve the transfer, nice work. =GuardDog 12:50, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Page requires a revamp, particularly to the division and completeness of the History section. New images (and quotes where viable) must be added, and entire section subdivided for easier reading.
Leandros' Templar force in Masyaf is a bit understated in the History section, and the Layout section tends to become POV and hard to read. In the latter, I'd recommend incorporating valid images, rewording and paragraphing.
Comments
Location article again, though quite a large and extensive one. If you do particularly well on this page, it can potentially bring you up a rank. =GuardDog 10:59, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Today I had some time, so I worked on improving the article here and there, but I believe I've finished the necessary sections that needed to be added. Please look over it, and if you feel anything is missing, tell me. I'm not done yet though, I haven't edited it which may explain any spelling or minor errors you find. Also, I wanted to know whether or not you think the Third Crusade and Renaissance sections of the main History section should have separate headings using ==== for each mini-section (i.e. "Defense of 1191" when Robert attacks in AC or "Siege of 1176" when Saladin attacks in AC: TSC). I hope to do the quotes and editing over the next two days, and hopefully I will finished by Sunday. Thanks. NostalgiaLet's talk. 02:18, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
I've finished the assignment, and so, as usual, here is an update of the work I did on Masyaf.
Opening paragraph - Minor adjustments to infobox, some rewording, quote formatting, and removal of some things that were irrelevant.
Saracen siege - Addition of sub-section, some rewording, and some expansion and link fixes.
Skirmish with the Crusaders - Addition of sub-section, some rewording, link fixing, and brief expansion.
Templar siege - Addition of sub-section, expansion, rewording, and addition of an image.
Struggle for the Apple - Addition of sub-section, rewording, and expansion.
Decline of Masyaf - Addition of sub-section, rewording, link fixing, addition of image, and brief expansion.
Arrival of an Assassin - Addition of sub-section, rewording, expansion, addition of an image, and some link additions and fixes.
Accession of Altair's library - Addition of sub-section, addition of image, some rewording, and some expansion.
Layout - Addition of image, rewording, link fixing, and general clean up.
Village - Rewording and clean up.
Fortress - Addition of image, some rewording, and clean up.
Canyon walkway and trap tower - Some rewording and general clean up.
Trivia - Tense and POV fixing, some rewording, removal of irrelevant/bad quality trivia, and clean up involving links.
Gallery - Renamed and added some captions, added a couple of images, and removed some images to be used in the actual article.
Well, that's the work I've done. It was difficult to find quotes for specific sections that involved Masyaf, as most focused only on the Assassins, which is why there's only a few of them (if my memory is correct). Also, I was sort-of skeptical at the idea of a "layout" section, but I was nervous about removing or even trimming a large section like that. Thanks, and have a good day Guard :P. NostalgiaLet's talk. 18:03, December 3, 2011 (UTC)
Well done, Nos. History's very extensive and complete, with fitting images. Sorry I didn't get to answer your question, but I think your subsectioning fits correctly.
I'm not quite sure what to do with the layout myself (as I don't think many other articles have the section), but you've made it presentable; which is enough enough.
Your quotes are actually quite fitting, wasn't even aware some of those existed.
Finally, just one addition (which I've done myself as it's only a few lines), do remember to link back to Major Events should ever we have articles for them. I usually check the template for names, since it's a bit hard to remember them all.
Though everything else far outweighs that, it's a much better article now. Good job. And as usual, please collapse this when you've read :p =GuardDog 11:06, December 5, 2011 (UTC)
