The following page is an apprentice assignment page, which acts as a connection between the apprentice, Nostalgia AC, and their Master, GuardDog. It exists as an external talk page, aimed at dealing with all aspects of the apprenticeship. Only the above mentioned users and the staff have permission to converse here. Any outside interference will result in an immediate ban from the wiki.
Format of some of the headers need fixing, and a few links need updating (particularly Savonarola's lieutenants).
However, mainly, the list needs updating to include missing media, as well as the Templars within them. As I see it, the list needs Project Legacy, Ascendance, The Fall and the French comic, plus a few from Revelations.
If you have any questions, or just want to mention any updates, speak here :) =GuardDog 06:04, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
I'll get right to work on this when I return from class later today, but I just wanted to know if I should add the Apprentice rework template to the article currently, or whether I should just work on in through my Sandbox? Nostalgia ACLet's talk 10:55, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
I was actually a little unsure with that - given it's a project sign-up page, people may avoid signing up if they see the revamp template. Might be better not to put it at all. Thus, you can either edit it in parts, or just use your sandbox, your choice =GuardDog 11:04, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
Guard, I just wanted to update you on the status of this first assignment. Even though I received this assignment very recently, I believe I have updated it to the specifications you described. I added the lone assassination target from Ascendance, Octavian de Valois, as well as the assassination targets for The Fall and the French comic. I also added the Revelations assassination targets, but there was only one to add, The Crusader, as the rest have yet to be confirmed as Templar Agents/assassination targets in the game. Lastly, I fixed the spacing and headings, and some other minor things (Adding the tag for articles with Good status, updating the amount of articles, that sort of thing.) Take a look at it when you get a chance, and have a good night, and sorry for this novel of an explanation XD. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 01:40, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
Good work, Nos, not to mention fast. XD I've looked it over, and found it complete. This's nearly done, however, sorry that I forgot to mention something - please also add the project's template to any characters that weren't previously on the list. Just for completeness' sake =GuardDog 04:35, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I just added the template to all of the articles that were missing it, sorry about that. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 10:53, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
No worries, I forgot to mention it. Anyway, well done - that's officially merited your first rank up (there're 15 to go, so expect them to start out pretty quickly, and slow down later :p). I'll be posting your next assignment later today or tomorrow. =GuardDog 10:57, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
Mainly, page requires a more detailed, expanded and fully sourced history section; preferably with subsections to make it easier to read. General formatting (particularly of images) could use improvement as well.
As per usual. Requires an amount of expansion (particularly for info from Lineage, and a little from AC2) thus take as much time as you need. =GuardDog 18:23, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
Quick question Guard sorry if this seems obvious, but with articles on existent locations (i.e. Venice) should the article still be written in the past, or should it be written in the present? Nostalgia ACLet's talk 22:20, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
Don't worry, I wonder about that too sometimes. In the pattern of other locations, the lead sentence is in present tense ("Venice is a city located...") while the rest is past. Generally, anything still true can be in present, though I personally prefer past for cohesiveness' sake. (On a side note, really, feel free to ask me anything. That's what I'm around for :p) =GuardDog 06:15, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Guard I just wanted to give you a quick update on my work on this assignment so far.
Images - Replaced nearly all of the article's images with better ones, and have gotten rid of any unnecessary and/or badly placed images.
History - Renamed and named multiple sections, and added entire information for Lineage and most of AC2 information. I'm going to proofread, edit, and maybe expand this even more to make sure it encompasses everything about the city.
Landmarks - Fixed layout and did minor rewording for listing, also fixed it so that it's all in a smooth layout and removed double links for it, but I'm wondering if I should add any images to this section? I wasn't planning on it but if you think it should have some I'd gladly add them in.
Carnevale - Minor rewording for this section, with the addition of an accompanying image.
Trivia - Trimmed down a bit and did some minor rewording.
Alright so that's all I've done so far, as you can see I'm uncertain whether to add images to the Database entry, Landmarks, and Trivia sections, but overall I hope to be done by Monday if that's ok :P Nostalgia ACLet's talk 04:59, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
Hm, good choice of lead quote. Anyway, you've made a lot of progress - thus, some critique:
Images - Much better choices. As for placing one in the Database section, yes, I'd recommend it. Any general image of Venice from the gallery would be good - better to look at then just plain text. As for Landmark section, images should only be those that are relevant. As such, the Basilica or Piazza San Marco images might go well. Trivia seems fine as is.
History - may just be my personal preference, but the History section might be easier to read if each paragraph was shorter. Though as you said, you're still going to proof it, so just might want to keep that in mind. As much as I've glanced through it, info seems complete already though.
Landmarks - I'd recommend not having the lead sentence at all, as it's rather self-explanatory. Or at least removing the "in AC2" part, as it's OOU.
Carnevale - I'd suggest merging this as a subsection in History actually, or at least moving the section right after it - your choice, either's fine.
Sourcing - this is rather important for the History section, as it's from multiple media. Do you need tips on doing this? If so, just let me know~
Overall, it's looking much better so far. You seem to choose quotes well, thus I'd recommend adding one more somewhere in the History section, if you can find one. Keep at it ;) =GuardDog 09:39, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
Hey GD I just wanted to let you know that I've finished the assignment, take a look at it when you get a chance and if there's anything that I missed or needs to be added, just let me know. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 18:03, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
Just final notes that I failed to notice earlier - the references/source section should be the final one, only above the defaultsort and the game templates. Also, just remember when sourcing, you need only use " <ref name="Assassin's Creed II">''[[Assassin's Creed II]]''</ref> " the first time. All sourcing following them may merely be written " <ref name="Assassin's Creed II" /> " Just amend this, and it should be done. =GuardDog 06:59, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I just fixed that minor error and removed the Apprentice template from the article. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 12:23, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
Very good then, assignment closed. Will have the next one up later today. =GuardDog 01:04, November 7, 2011 (UTC)
Similar to that above. Merging of History and Targets section, as well as related rewording, sourcing and subsectioning. More appropriate images are needed as well.
As usual. Also, just as a heads-up, I'll be taking a break from the wiki around Nov 11 (for obvious reasons :p), but rest assured I'll check up on any work you complete after I get back. =GuardDog 11:28, November 7, 2011 (UTC)
Well, today I was lucky enough to get a lot of work in on this assignment.
Quest for the Chalice - Hoping to finish this section tomorrow, haven't done much to it yet.
Hunt for the Nine - Added entire section and finished it. As always, though, I'm going to work on editing and refining it tomorrow as well.
Solomon's Temple - Hoping to add this section either tomorrow or Wednesday.
Maps - Removed section and moved images to Gallery.
Gallery - Added some images and moved some from Maps section to there.
References - Going to add references to each paragraph and add the reflist tags to this simple section.
My goal is to be done this article by the 10th, so you have some time to review it before you take your break. Lastly, I just had three quick things: there was a Maps section in the article, but I removed it and just moved those images to the gallery, is that ok, or should Maps have their own section? Also, do you think the infobox image is okay? I myself want to crop out the part which has Altaïr standing on a beam, and I could not find any better images (In my opinion). Lastly, I've noticed I'm working fast (If I do say so myself), and I just wanted to make sure that this is not a problem for any reason. Thanks Guard, and have a good night. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 02:09, November 8, 2011 (UTC)
Looks good, particularly the Hunt for the Nine section. And sure, the 10th should be good. Hopefully I can leave you with some new work before I go as well.
Now, in answer: First, I'd think you chose right, the maps should just go under the gallery. Second, yes, cropping the infobox image should be fine, since Altaïr might be a bit distracting - just remember to link back to the original image in the info of the new file. Third, yes you are going pretty quickly, but that's to be commended. Keep it up, really, there's no complaints from me. Anyway, thanks for the updates too. =GuardDog 02:19, November 8, 2011 (UTC)
I just wanted to briefly let you know that I've finished the article, Master. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 03:56, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
...I was honestly thinking that this was a relatively short assignment, and would have given you a similar one before your next rank up. But you've expanded it well beyond my expectations - really good work. Assignment closed. :) =GuardDog 11:24, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
Again, needs expansion and subsectioning of the History section, as well as addition of more relevant images. Landmarks section also holds OOU references.
I can't find a reference of it on the wiki, but the Florence apprentice contract from Brotherhood would be relevant here. You may want to add any known information from Embers as well.
Sorry if you're getting tired of locations. :p Will change it up for the next one, just for a little variety. Though really, you seem to do well in them, and as the HI chief, it seems appropriate. Good luck with this one then, apprentice. =GuardDog 11:24, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
I really like these location assignments, :P, so don't worry about it, and as you said it helps me since I am Chief Editor of WP: Landmarks and Locations. But I just had a quick question: while I was (and still am) editing the article, I added the full Brotherhood template at the bottom (I honestly have no idea what to call that XD) and I noticed that under 'Locations,' Florence is not listed. However, the cities and locations visited during the demolition of Leonardo's machines are, so I was wondering if that template should be fixed, or if it was made that way intentionally? Thank you in advance. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 00:22, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
(I actually don't know what to call those either XD) And huh, I never noticed. Since Venice is missing as well, I'm supposing the Cristina memories weren't included. But sure, you can edit the template page then to add them both in, seems appropriate. =GuardDog 09:38, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Guard, I understand that you're still absent and enjoying your break, but I just wanted to let you know that I've completed the assignment. I'll keep an eye out to see when you return, but for now enjoy your break, and Revelations of course. Thank you, Master. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 05:54, November 13, 2011 (UTC)
As you can probably see, I'm back ;) And yep, I did enjoy both of those. Good work while I was away, the page is incredibly detailed now. You can expect the next assignment up soon. =GuardDog 09:22, November 20, 2011 (UTC)
Assignment to be headed by Story, though any progress will be credited to the apprenticeship as necessary. =GuardDog 09:22, November 20, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, sounds good. Sorry that I haven't gotten to starting this yet, I've been travelling all day and just got back. However, I plan to talk with TST tomorrow, and hopefully we can work out a plan to both facilitate and expedite this assignment for both of us. I'll add our plan (or whatever we come up with) here, and have a good night Guard. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 05:28, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry if I'm not allowed to post in here, seeing as I'm the "head" of this assignment I believe I should be allowed to comment, but that will be up to G.D, anyway, Nos, today I will finish off the Sentinel section, do what you can to improve it once it's done and such. Still have to wait for some pictures to come in but other than that, that's all for now. :) TellerWords, On my Screen :O 05:43, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
No worries, take your time with it, Nos. Will be looking out for that plan. And Story, of course you can post, it's your project too :p You two feel free to discuss here if ever you need a place for updates. =GuardDog 11:01, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
Teller and I have agreed to a plan where he'll add most of the sections, and then once he is done editing, I will edit it and refine it. He told me the other day that he was in the midst of working on the first key section, which I'll be watching for to edit. On a side note, I'm currently trying to "fix-up" the article Francesco de' Pazzi in order to help it receive GA (I nominated it too soon), so I'll be working on that as a side project, which I may (if its not too imposing) ask for your help with, Guard, if that's okay. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 04:04, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Alright Nos, the First Key section is done, do your work mate. :D --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 10:01, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Ah, I haven't checked the GA nominations lately. Sure, just ask if you need anything ;) Also, if I can recommend (based on just a cursory look), remember to use the date format [day] [month] [year], and that you need not have day and month in the (birth - death) portion. =GuardDog 12:51, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Done, First Key section is edited. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 11:17, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
I just wanted to give you an update, Guard, as to how Teller and I have been faring over the past few days.
General outline - A couple of days ago, I came up with a rough outline to guide us as we work on the page. I've left sections the sections blank, as we are going to edit each one at a time. These sections and titles are subject to change though, depending on how we (TST, you, and I) feel.
Travel to Cappadocia - I added this entire section, and all of its subsections. However, Teller and I have agreed to go back to our old plan of him adding most of the sections, and myself refining and editing them. This will help keep the writing style consistent.
Attack on Suleiman I - I edited this section, and TST plans to wrap it up soon I believe.
So far we've just been adding and editing sections as we are able, and it seems to be working fine. We plan to edit it and refine the entire article randomly over time as well though, when we feel it is necessary. Lastly, I believe Teller wanted a word with you, Guard, but I've you've already talked to him then just ignore this. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 08:15, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
Quick status report for you Guard, so far your Apprentice has:
Spaced out some sections properly.
Created the Cappadocia section of the article.
Changed some formatting.
Created some headers to help us with some borders and travel to a specific section faster.
Reworded some sections to a higher standard.
Seems good so far, we'll keep at it, a new name has to be decided but we'll see to it that all the info is there before discussing that any further. For now, I'll work on Revelations (last section with Altaïr's Library) since I've been looking forward to doing that since I passed that game. xD Anyway, all well and good, I just hope that Nos gets some good recognition for his hard efforts considering I've been lacking because of some others revamps. --Teller out. --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 11:19, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
Hm sorry, I'm a bit late reading the updates in this section. Nice work both of you, and thanks for the heads up ;) Nos, I'm assuming this is what you meant.
Now, as for section titles, they mostly sound fitting to me, just two suggestions: "Search throughout Constantinople" might be easier to say if it's just "Search through Constantinople," and perhaps "Arrival of Selim" could be "Sultan's Return."
Anyway, that's it, I'll go update the progress accordingly :D =GuardDog 03:12, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
Added in Infiltration section, I'm beginning work on the "Assassination of Tarik" and should have it done by the time Nos gets here. continues working --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 10:27, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
The task has been completed, as we speak, Nos is adding quotes and all information is there. Here's a little update on his portion of work.
Added Departure section
Added Carriage and Sultan sections.
Added Watching over a meeting section.
Added Quotes.
That's his progress. It's done now, look over it and let me know. Then I'll publish it. --TellerWords, On my Screen :O 07:16, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Reading through it now, give me a few minutes for detailed comments.
Though my only comment from a cursory look is that a few of the images are too small (in Search through Constantinople and Entering the Arsenal). Though that's about all I can see so far; generally looks pretty clean for such a huge article. =GuardDog 07:26, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Mostly a cursory look, but here are a few more comments:
Update Grand Master of the Assassin Order link to the Mentor
Standardize whether {{Main}} template goes before or after the quote. It alternates in several sections.
Seriously though, that's about all I can find :p Overall, it looks good you two, I approve. Should probably be linked to as the Main Article under the Plot subsection of Revelations when it's up. =GuardDog 07:39, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
I just fixed the images and links as you suggested, Guard, and added a link to it in WP: Timeline. NostalgiaLet's talk. 07:53, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
A character assignment for a change :p =GuardDog 12:51, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I've finished already :P, so here's a recap of what I did.
Opening paragraph - Did some minor rewording and fixed a redirect link.
Biography - Addition of section.
Meeting Shao Jun - Addition of sub-section, expansion, rewording, and addition of related image.
Impending threat - Addition of sub-section, rewording, and expansion of original writing.
Florentine market - Addition of sub-section, expansion of original writing, addition of related image, and rewording.
Trivia - Attempted to come up with some things from Embers, but could not find anything noteworthy, really.
Gallery - Addition of three images and fixing of its layout.
References - Renamed from previous 'Source' section, added "{{Reflist}}" tag, and removed now unnecessary source.
Thanks Guard, and I'm hoping to look over the Francesco article later and see if I may/do need help with anything there, and thanks in advance for any help. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 21:41, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
Well done (and quick) as usual. However, just one correction. The {{reflist}} only need be used if the article has multiple sources/references. For articles such as this, similarly to Fra Giocondo or Marcello Auditore, instead of ==References== {{reflist}}, you can just use ==Source== ''[[Assassin's Creed: Embers]]''. Mostly saves effort and space. =GuardDog 03:15, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
Another thing: as for the Francesco article, I read it a little more thoroughly, and have some advice.
Early life - can be derived from his Database articles|Database article, and gives better pre-game background.
Pazzi conspiracy - well worded and complete, though would suggest cutting paragraphs into smaller ones.
Characteristics and personality - could use a quote if you can find one.
That's it so far, good luck with it ;) =GuardDog 03:21, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for all of your help, Guard. I fixed the references part of the Flavia article, and I also added in the things you suggested to Francesco's article. If you have a moment to look over it and vote whenever, then that would be great. Thank you. Nostalgia ACLet's talk 04:24, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
Each of the characters require a revamp to match quality and format of other Templar agents. Information from Master Assassin missions must be added as well.
Mass assignment now, in some attempt to keep up with your fast progress :p =GuardDog 06:53, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I've finished already :P, gotta love weekends. Now, here is a general outline of the work I did for each article:
Opening section - Minor rewording, link fixing, and addition of WP: Targets header.
Early life - Added this section to all articles, I basically just got it from their Abstergo entries, but there was limited information despite that.
Middle section involving Assassins - Added this section to all articles, information taken from specific memories, and I added a quote from that specific memory.
Death - Added this section to all articles, it basically just details their death and the memory surrounding it, and also has a quote from their final words.
Final words - Added this section to all articles as I saw some other Agent articles had it, pretty self explanatory: it just has their final conversation with Ezio or an Apprentice.
References - Removed {{Reflist}} tags and added Revelations as the source and renamed the section to simply "Source" as it does only have one source.
Well, that's the work I did. You'll likely notice the lack of images on the articles, which was one of my concerns too. However, I was unable to find any images that weren't from the multiplayer or weren't used in the infobox, and no walkthroughs on YouTube were good enough quality for screenshots. Also, I made sure to link these articles from the Revelations section of WP: Targets so they are now listed there. Thanks. NostalgiaLet's talk. 01:24, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Good work, particularly in early life, they all meet standards now. Just some format corrections:
Final words - Just as quotes, in the final words sections, remember to put spoken words in italics.
Lead quotes - I recommend you shorten three of them. Too long quotes draw attention from the article body. Specifically, Damat's first could be cut at "Thank you, efendim" and Georgios' and Damat's death lead quotes could also be shortened (just as you did for Lysistrata) as you provide the full quote in the final words anyway.
That's about it Nos, after that, assignment closed. =GuardDog
12:50, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I made the minor fixes to the articles, now I'll just close this with a nice collapsible :P. NostalgiaLet's talk. 15:25, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, probably won't last you too long, but good luck with it. :p
Also, previous images on this article were removed, I'm assuming since an actual temple (perhaps that shown by Jupiter) might be the only one appropriate for it. Thus, I recommend you mostly focus on quotes, information and sources. =GuardDog 02:23, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
Well, here is a plan for what I aim to do, hopefully tomorrow, with the article. Also, I've done some very brief work on it so far.
Opening section - Minor rewording, and possibly some expansion.
Creation - Rewording, expansion, addition of a quote, and detailing.
First Catastrophe - Rewording, minor expansion, and quote addition.
Modern Times - Expansion, some rewording, and quote addition.
Also, I was wondering if you think the article needed some more sections, as it seems brief right now with just the history and references sections, even though I do plan to expand on the article. Well, that's it for today, if there's anything you feel is missing from my plan, please tell me (as you always do :P). Have a good night, Guard, and I'll hopefully wrap up this brief assignment tomorrow. NostalgiaLet's talk. 04:29, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
History and references are fine as the only sections, as long as the History is subdivided. Overall, your plan sounds good, I'll be checking back tomorrow then. You have a good night as well, Nos. =GuardDog 08:35, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
I've finished the assignment, as I'd hoped, and edited the article according to the plan. Besides that, I did some minor things, such as the addition of some necessary era tags and the clean up of some other minor things around the article. However, I was unable to find any images that would have actually served well for the article. Thank you, and have a good one. NostalgiaLet's talk. 01:33, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Very good, fitting quotes and information seems complete now; assignment closed. Also, don't worry, I didn't really expect any images, as they're not yet available. In the future perhaps. (Also, please collapse this after you've read it :p) =GuardDog 02:20, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Requires rewording and addition of missing information, particularly the spies sent by Tarik Barleti, and the evacuation during the fire.
Comments
Back to locations. This page is a little too Ezio-centric for my taste. It mostly requires addition of Tarik's investigations and planned ambush, perhaps mention of the Templar-made map to Cappadocia, and the civilians' mass evacuation. =GuardDog 02:20, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
I've finished the assignment, so here's a quick review.
Opening section - Minor rewording, changed tense to "is" as it still is a region (as discussed in Serenissima Assignment), and addition of infobox with available information.
Templar headquarters - Rewording, image alteration, and expansion to include more about Manuel in relation to Cappadocia.
Assassin invasion - Rewording, image alteration, expansion, and formatted to only include up to the destruction of the weapons depot part.
Hunt for Manuel - Rewording, addition of sub-section, formatting, and image alteration.
Fire - Addition of sub-section, formatting, addition of image, and rewording.
Trivia - Clean up and removal of bad quality or useless trivia with OOU content.
Gallery - Nothing changed, as there are not that many great images of the city that don't involve Manuel's death or something. Also, I would remove the Ubisoft watermark on one of the concept art images except its specific license requires that it be left there.
Well that's it, I added the parts like you asked and cleaned up the article. You may have noticed, though, that I did not go into the details of Tarik and Manuel's meeting, as it was in Constantinople, and Sima advised me to not stray too far from things not directly related to the location; after I mistakenly added too much information about their meetings and information not related to Cappadocia. As always, have a good night, and sorry for this wordy explanation :P. NostalgiaLet's talk. 23:43, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Well done, a good read - locations really seem your forte. Also, I like your wordy explanations, they make my review a lot easier :D
And on another note, I apologize if my stress on Tarik's involvement was a bit overstated. You balanced it correctly despite that though (appreciate Sima pointing that out :p) and all requested and valid information seems complete. Assignment closed. =GuardDog 10:59, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Pursued on apprentice's own initiative, marked here only for listing and accreditation purposes. =GuardDog 06:53, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Francesco has passed as GA, and is waiting closure now that it has 4 Istruttore votes and no objections. I plan to edit and refine the Emilio article in the coming days alongside of my new assignment concerning Templar agent articles. NostalgiaLet's talk. 07:30, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Good, good. Keep at it, and just ask if you need anything. =GuardDog 08:15, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
I just thought it'd be easier to give you this here, so here is the userbox for giving me the suggestions and help that led to Francesco's article being promoted to GA: (template). Thanks for your help with this one, Guard. NostalgiaLet's talk. 09:16, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks Nos, I got it. And really, it's no problem. =GuardDog 10:49, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
I just wanted to let you know that I've finished my work on Emilio's article in my sandbox, which can be viewed here, and so if you have a moment, it'd be great if you could look it over and see if there is anything that needs to be fixed prior to nomination. Also, I hope its okay, but I just made the past assignments into collapsibles to save space, but have left the current assignments as they are. NostalgiaLet's talk. 20:04, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Sure, collapsible is fine, looks neater. I just returned the headers (for the table of contents) and changed the color if that's all right. As for the Emilio article, I'll look over it soon as I get back from class - just stopped by to read your update. =GuardDog 01:03, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Looks good, complete and fine choice of quotes. I only have a couple of suggestions:
Opening section - first paragraph could be shortened to "...was a tyrannical Venetian merchant, and secretly a member of the Templar Order."
Personality - though the portrait in this section deserves to be in the gallery, it doesn't seem appropriate for describing an "oppressive and demanding man." I'd suggest moving the one from "Meeting in Tuscany" into Personality, and putting the second gallery image in its place.
After those, I approve the transfer, nice work. =GuardDog 12:50, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
Page requires a revamp, particularly to the division and completeness of the History section. New images (and quotes where viable) must be added, and entire section subdivided for easier reading.
Leandros' Templar force in Masyaf is a bit understated in the History section, and the Layout section tends to become POV and hard to read. In the latter, I'd recommend incorporating valid images, rewording and paragraphing.
Comments
Location article again, though quite a large and extensive one. If you do particularly well on this page, it can potentially bring you up a rank. =GuardDog 10:59, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Today I had some time, so I worked on improving the article here and there, but I believe I've finished the necessary sections that needed to be added. Please look over it, and if you feel anything is missing, tell me. I'm not done yet though, I haven't edited it which may explain any spelling or minor errors you find. Also, I wanted to know whether or not you think the Third Crusade and Renaissance sections of the main History section should have separate headings using ==== for each mini-section (i.e. "Defense of 1191" when Robert attacks in AC or "Siege of 1176" when Saladin attacks in AC: TSC). I hope to do the quotes and editing over the next two days, and hopefully I will finished by Sunday. Thanks. NostalgiaLet's talk. 02:18, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
I've finished the assignment, and so, as usual, here is an update of the work I did on Masyaf.
Opening paragraph - Minor adjustments to infobox, some rewording, quote formatting, and removal of some things that were irrelevant.
Saracen siege - Addition of sub-section, some rewording, and some expansion and link fixes.
Skirmish with the Crusaders - Addition of sub-section, some rewording, link fixing, and brief expansion.
Templar siege - Addition of sub-section, expansion, rewording, and addition of an image.
Struggle for the Apple - Addition of sub-section, rewording, and expansion.
Decline of Masyaf - Addition of sub-section, rewording, link fixing, addition of image, and brief expansion.
Arrival of an Assassin - Addition of sub-section, rewording, expansion, addition of an image, and some link additions and fixes.
Accession of Altair's library - Addition of sub-section, addition of image, some rewording, and some expansion.
Layout - Addition of image, rewording, link fixing, and general clean up.
Village - Rewording and clean up.
Fortress - Addition of image, some rewording, and clean up.
Canyon walkway and trap tower - Some rewording and general clean up.
Trivia - Tense and POV fixing, some rewording, removal of irrelevant/bad quality trivia, and clean up involving links.
Gallery - Renamed and added some captions, added a couple of images, and removed some images to be used in the actual article.
Well, that's the work I've done. It was difficult to find quotes for specific sections that involved Masyaf, as most focused only on the Assassins, which is why there's only a few of them (if my memory is correct). Also, I was sort-of skeptical at the idea of a "layout" section, but I was nervous about removing or even trimming a large section like that. Thanks, and have a good day Guard :P. NostalgiaLet's talk. 18:03, December 3, 2011 (UTC)
Well done, Nos. History's very extensive and complete, with fitting images. Sorry I didn't get to answer your question, but I think your subsectioning fits correctly.
I'm not quite sure what to do with the layout myself (as I don't think many other articles have the section), but you've made it presentable; which is enough enough.
Your quotes are actually quite fitting, wasn't even aware some of those existed.
Finally, just one addition (which I've done myself as it's only a few lines), do remember to link back to Major Events should ever we have articles for them. I usually check the template for names, since it's a bit hard to remember them all.
Though everything else far outweighs that, it's a much better article now. Good job. And as usual, please collapse this when you've read :p =GuardDog 11:06, December 5, 2011 (UTC)
Requires expansion to match other hirable faction pages, including history with the Assassins, as well as skills they are capable of.
Comments
Again, could use images if they're up by the time you get to this. =GuardDog 00:28, December 8, 2011 (UTC)
I just did some minor clean up work, on the article, and hopefully I'll be able to wrap up the History section tomorrow. After that, I'll look for some images and get to work on editing it. It shouldn't take too long, and hopefully I'll be done soon, though I can't say when I'll be exactly done by. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 02:29, December 8, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, so I did my exam studying, and made some time to finish this assignment. Here's a review of what I did, Master Guard.
Opening section - Minor rewording, detailing, infobox detailing, and the addition of a brief quote (It was the best I could find after I wasted all my akce in ACR on Romanies to see what they would say XD.)
Origins - Minor rewording, and expansion from the database entry.
Byzantine theft - Addition of section, image, quote, and links.
Characteristics - Addition of section and links.
Trivia - Removed bad trivia.
Gallery - I wish I could've added more images, but there were no existing ones on the wiki and I couldn't find any concept artwork of anything other than their HQ.
Source - Replaced the references section that was previously there.
That's the work I've done on the article. I checked the other faction articles, and noticed that they had a "known members" type section, which I would have included, had any Romani actually been named other than "Romani," as it is in-game. I also would have added an achievement to it, as the others have that as well, but there are no specific Romani achievements for ACR.
Also, this may be too premature, but I wanted to let you know that over the break (beginning on the 16th for most US citizens) I'm hoping to revamp an article and bring it up to an FA standard (hopefully). As I'm unfamiliar with the FA quality and things like that, I will likely need your help with that, and I'm just providing this as a heads-up :P, I hope that's okay. I hope this explanation helped, and thanks as always Guard. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 02:11, December 9, 2011 (UTC)
Very good apprentice, quite comprehensive as usual. Thanks for the breakdown too, just have a few comments:
History - Apt wording and quotes, and the images seem appropriate. The lead quote is fine too, just think of your akce being used for good research XD
Known Members - Just to remind you, the only known Romani would be Mirela, the Trickster; whose Assassin apprentice side mission could use a section in the History part. Though she's just one person, so you really need not put the Known Members section :p Just remember to add her in.
As for the FA, sure go ahead, I'll help wherever I can. My Christmas break starts same time as yours, so should be no problem.
Just be discerning in your choice in which to polish; more important articles should have more editors, and a greater chance of reaching the status ;) Good luck with that =GuardDog 11:11, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I added that section and I'm sorry I did not add it in my original work, I honestly didn't think of it when I was editing. Also, concerning the FA work, I was considering the article Infiltration of the Castel Sant'Angelo as I can see it does need a good amount of work from a cursory look at the article. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 15:55, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
Requires expansion out of stub status with complete History and Database sections. All Suleiman memories in particular should be accounted for.
Comments
Rather short article, but requires much writing from scratch. Good luck as usual. =GuardDog 11:06, December 5, 2011 (UTC)
Here is a recap of the work I've done thus far today on the assignment.
Opening section - Fixing some minor things in the infobox and minor rewording with the opening paragraph.
Idealization and construction - Taken from part of the ACR database entry, and I did some rewording, and added a few links.
Attack on Prince Suleiman - Added entire section, as well as a quote, some links, and an image.
Uneasy meeting - Added entire section, as well as a quote, a few links, and an image.
Assassination orders - Added entire section and a link.
Cover rendezvous - Added entire section and an image.
Legacy - Taken from part of the ACR database entry and I added a couple of links.
Gallery - Added and detailed some captions, though hopefully will have some more images here.
Source - Added section and listed ACR as source.
Well, that's the work I've done for today. I've left Vatsa a message asking if he will be able to provide his usual array of great HQ images, and we'll see if that pans out. If it does, those might replace some existing images on the article, and/or they might be added to the Gallery. Also, I hope to edit and refine this assignment tomorrow, and to communicate with Vatsa in the hopes he can provide some necessary images available soon. Lastly, Emilio was voted in for GA today, which wraps up that Target Assignment I pursued, and so here is your userbox for your help: (template). Thanks again, Guard, and have a nice night. NostalgiaLet's talk. 00:58, December 6, 2011 (UTC)
Looks good. I read out the information, and it seems complete and well-written.
Images look acceptable, but you're right, they're a bit limited right now - Vatsa's usual images would improve it well, when he gets around to it. If he can't anytime soon, we can just move on to the next assignment. Let me know.
Also, yep, I noticed. Congrats on that GA, you worked hard on it. And thanks for being so generous with the credit too XD =GuardDog 04:38, December 6, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks XD.
I did some more work on the article, mainly involving some rewording and link additions though. I'm unsure of when Vatsa will have the images, but I assume soon from his past history of quick work with images. If you do not want to wait for the images though, then we can be done with this assignment as it is completed, except for the lack of great images. However, please note that my work on the wiki will be scaled-down and I will be slower with my assignments, as I'm preparing for some end of semester exams for next week. I should be back to my normal work pace and activity once those are over though, on the 16th I believe. Thanks. NostalgiaLet's talk. 02:04, December 7, 2011 (UTC)
It's no problem really, first things first. :) If you'd prefer, we can leave this as the active assignment until your exams are over, as well as wait for the images. Most assignments I'd give you will probably involve Revelations anyway, so it'd make sense. =GuardDog 11:17, December 7, 2011 (UTC)
I'm okay with waiting for the images, though I would like a new assignment as this current one only requires the images. Even with exam preparation and my work being done at a slower pace, it'd still be nice to have something to work on here. However, if you want to wait until this current assignment is fully completed with the images, then I understand too. NostalgiaLet's talk. 20:59, December 7, 2011 (UTC)
Ah okay, that's fine as well, it's really up to you. Here's the next then. =GuardDog 00:28, December 8, 2011 (UTC)
No new updates on the Topkapi images, though I just finished a major revamp and reworking of the article Antonio Maffei. I've nominated it for GA as well, and would love your vote or any suggestions if you don't think it's worthy. Here's the article, and here's the GA nomination page for your convenience. Thanks, as always Guard. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 21:41, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
First off, thanks for your vote on Antonio's GA nomination :P. Secondly, I've chosen Infiltration of the Castel Sant'Angelo as the article that I will attempt to revamp up to an FA standard. I will begin some preliminary work this week when I have time, but the bulk of the editing will come over the break.
If it's alright with you (It's fine if you say no too :P.), I was hoping this could be a large assignment for my Apprenticeship. If you felt comfortable with that, it would mainly be myself editing the article over a number of days, and then asking for your complete, honest thoughts on the article, and specific ways I could improve it, no matter how big or how small. After that, I would take a look over the article again, add in any and all of your suggestions, possibly confer with another member of Staff (Nothing personal, I just want multiple peoples' thoughts and inputs prior to nomination), and then nominate it for FA, if we believe it is worthy. Once again, if you feel this will take too long, or have another objection, then that is fine too, that's completely understandable as I'm merely suggesting this as a possible idea.
Well, now I'm off to procure a late-night snack, so enjoy your night Guard, and thanks again for your vote on Antonio's GA. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:55, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
No problem for the vote ;) And that's fine with me, I'll mark it here as your next assignment.
I have no objections to your plan or choice of article. It's in decent shape as of now, and you should be capable of making it FA with some work. Just ask as often as you need, and leave any updates here as usual. =GuardDog 22:30, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
Polishing and expansion of the article explicitly into featured status. I'd suggest in particular the addition of an introduction stating the difficulty and implications of infiltrating a Templar stronghold.
Will be considered completed upon closing of voting period, and may merit a rank if successful.
Comments
Get to this when you can, and hope you enjoyed your night as well :p =GuardDog 22:30, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
Thank you :P, I'll begin work soon. Also, I just removed the Apprentice template from the Topkapi article, as the images could take some time with Vatsa's connection issues. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 22:48, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Guard, the list below lists the things I need to do for the near future, created simply to help me during the assignment, and I'll strike any of these things that I finish.
To-do:
Edit and review opening section
Acquire a new infobox image
Add opening quote
Reword and re-edit entire "Concealed entry" section
Reword and (later) re-edit entire "Escape with Caterina section"
Reword and re-edit entire "Aftermath" section
Edit "Rescue of Caterina" section
Fix article section format
Make one final round of editing and rewording before gaining complete suggestions from GuardDog and another Istruttore.
I like the opening quote, though I think the description should clarify that they were speaking while within the castello.
Also, for the "Infiltration" section, I'd recommend shortening its quote (even just Cesare's first line there is enough), and renaming it to omething that emphasizes the Templars' plans that Ezio overhears, or suggests the gathering of intel.
And I agree with replacing the infobox image as well - I see no infiltration whatsoever in the current one :p Anyway, that's it, hope you don't mind my nitpicking comments so early in the assignment. =GuardDog 12:31, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
I don't mind them at all, these comments are very helpful, feel free to add them whenever you feel like it :P. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 20:51, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I added a new infobox image after a brief consultation with Istruttore Teller, and we agreed on the current one. I believe the article is complete, but I want your full and honest suggestions now, no matter if they're huge or minuscule. You can provide them to me here, or if its easier, I could hop on the IRC at a time that works for you so we can discuss it there while I edit. However, I believe you are 13 hours ahead of me (I'm on Eastern Standard Time), but I'd still be available for any time that works for you. Thank you.
UPDATE: I had Istruttore TheSt0ryTeller look over the article, and we rectified a few flaws, and he claims he would vote Yay if it was nominated for FA. So, when you have a moment, your complete thoughts would be very much appreciated, either given here, or over the IRC if thats easier. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:36, December 17, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay - first weekend of Christmas break, you know XD
Anyway, moving onto the article, it's very well filled out now, good work. As I would say if this were the nomination page, information is well-worded and complete, particularly the aftermath section.
My recommended changes are as follows, though they're relatively small:
Opening section - Good and comprehensive, though would recommend mentioning the year (as per other major events) and should cut the first paragraph into two, probably at "The Assassin prepared himself for a difficult..."
Name - For standardization, but I'd recommend changing the occassional mentions of "Machiavelli" to "Niccolò", just to match referring to all characters by their first names
Quote - The quote in "Escape from the Castel" is also incorrect, given Ezio said it. Might also be more clarified if you give the whole dialogue, starting from Ezio's asking "Can you walk?"
Castel - There was some debate on the term before if I remember right, but referring to it as "the Castel" might not be correct. Would probably be better to refer to it as "the castello", or with its full name.
Images - very balanced, but I'm not so sure about the infobox image. I would have chosen "CCrasher 3.png", since the castello's visible there, but I do see some merit with the current one. Can I know how the two of you concluded that that would be best? I'm open to the idea either way :p
That's it then, well done with this assignment. After these corrections, I'd fully support its nomination. Good luck for it, apprentice :D =GuardDog 11:18, December 19, 2011 (UTC)
XD, these suggestions were very helpful, so thank you. I have done as you have suggested, and the article is now nominated for FA status. For easier access, here is a link to the FA nomination page, as well as a link to the article itself. Thank you. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 14:32, December 19, 2011 (UTC)
Well the article is currently in the nomination phase, and is doing fairly well, no one has objected to it becoming FA yet. On a more unrelated note Guard, your story for Teller's holiday blog is great. I read it earlier this morning, and the detail and wording is awesome and it seems as if it could be canon :P. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 19:40, December 22, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks Nos :p I'm awarding you your rank up, since the nomination has 5 istruttori votes already - may still be some comments to come, but that's more than enough for the assignment. Well done.
And thanks a lot, it was fun to write XD =GuardDog 15:08, December 24, 2011 (UTC)
Requires major expansion, particularly from Database information, and appearances in storyline missions; inclusive of the Vizier missions, Portrait of a Lady and relevant Piri Reis missions.
Comments
It's getting fairly difficult to give you assignments, but take that as a good sign XD Also, if ever you pick up a revamp-worthy article on your own, please just let me know so I can mark and credit them here. =GuardDog 14:34, December 25, 2011 (UTC)
I'll try and get on this as soon as I can, but progress will likely be slower because of the holiday and because I'm going away on the 26th, and will return on the 1st or 2nd. I believe I should have internet access, but I'm not entirely sure how good it will be. Just a heads up :P.
Sure, not a problem. It's holidays, so I completely understand :p Just whenever you can get around to it. And oh okay, noted XD Will look it over and vote a bit later today. =GuardDog 06:30, December 26, 2011 (UTC)
Well, Guard, I carry bad news, and first off I'd like to apologize for not letting you know earlier.
As I told you yesterday, or the day before, I'm going on vacation. However, I did not think about the fact that I am going to Europe, and that their electrical system is different from an American one, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to power my laptop or gain access to one. If I do manage to get power to my laptop there, or gain access to one somehow, I'll let you know and continue work on my assignment, but for now it seems that I will not be able to work on my assignment until I return, on the 1st of January.
I'm sorry for the late notice, but I did not think of it when I informed you of my travel plans. I am going to attempt to do better in the new year :P. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 20:40, December 26, 2011 (UTC)
I've finished the assignment, but first I'd like to apologize for the fact that my abrupt vacation interrupted my work. Now, here is the work I've done to the page.
Opening section - Some infobox detailing and fixing and some minor rewording.
Construction and conception - Taken from in-game database entry, I reworded and trimmed the entry and fit it in this section.
Templar and Assassin presence - Added entire section, multiple links, and two images.
Gallery - Rewording of some of the captions and some image shifts.
Source - Listed it as AC: R.
Well, I've done as you asked and added the information from the main memories, as well as the vizier side memory that takes place there. However, you'll notice that I didn't go into too much detail about the Piri Reis missions, which I didn't do on purpose because they take place outside of the bazaar itself, and would be too off-topic to include all of that (Just my opinion, if you disagree just say so and I'll all that). Instead, I just added a brief paragraph about how Piri and Ezio met at his shop within the bazaar to discuss the bombs and such.
Also, Jacopo has been promoted to GA, and now I'm just browsing articles in an attempt to locate another that I can promote to FA :P. Thanks as always, and I hope you had a good holiday season and a lovely new year. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 01:34, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
First off, no need to apologize for the absence, hope you enjoyed your trip and your holidays as well :) Do remember, this is your apprenticeship, you can do it at what ever pace you choose.
And I apologize for neglecting to check the coop the past few days - congratulations on the GA, it's been credited for your next rank.
Grand Bazaar article looks great, everything relevant seems there. And I agree with the amount of info you gave on Piri Reis, it's just enough. Another assignment similar to this one should get you to 11, then if you do find a good FA, it will contribute nicely to the one after.
I'll be looking for another assignment and will update you here, but by this point you're quite capable of choosing your own marks - just let me know if you beat me to it, and I'll credit it here :p =GuardDog 02:56, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
I've decided that I will attempt to bring up the article Vieri de' Pazzi to GA status. I'm currently deciding which article I would like to bring up to FA, and I will work on this while I decide. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 12:19, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
Very well, good luck with it. Just if I can give any advice, I'd recommend expanding the early life in particular - adding some background on the Pazzi-Auditore family rivalries, and the arrest of Francesco. =GuardDog 10:01, January 4, 2012 (UTC)
Well, I'm nearly done the article, though I need to do one last round of edits as I wait for a batch of new images to come in, courtesy of Vatsa. Feel free to critique my work, though I believe the layout, wording, and overall work should be of GA quality, but if you disagree just give me some reasons why and I'll add any of your suggestions. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:13, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
Well done, seems appropriately worded and well detailed. All I see are a few minor format issues: the (birth year - death year) in the opening section need not include the month, and the italics for Revelations in Appears In, and for Encyclopedia in the Trivia. There's also a missing link for San Gimignano, and a typo in the Life as a Templar section: "Following the fiasco in the near..."
Though all these are really minor :p Anyway, after you get the images, article should be more than worthy for the status. =GuardDog 12:06, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
I've updated the article according to your suggestions, and I am are just waiting for Vatsa's images before I apply it for GA. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:43, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
Vatsa just uploaded the images, so I placed the appropriate one in Vieri's article, and now have nominated it for GA. Your vote in the GA nomination would be great, if you could spare a few minutes. Thanks in advance. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 14:01, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Took a last look at the article, and will go vote for it after this. Good job, assignment closed. =GuardDog 11:17, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
(Hope you two don't object to my transferring your comments here, Nos and Story. :p) =GuardDog 11:17, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
Hope you don't mind me commenting but if you want Nos, you could help me get the Riot at the Harbor of yada-yada-yada to FA. TellerWords, On my Screen :O 04:19, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
That'd be great, TST. I'm nearly done this assignment, so I could begin once I nominate (likely later today or tomorrow) Vieri for GA. If Guard is okay with it, I'd work with you to promote "Riot at Harbor of Theodosius" to FA. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 11:52, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
And sure, go ahead you two, I approve. =GuardDog 12:12, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
I hope TST doesn't mind me updating you with my progress, Guard, but TST and I did some good work on the article, and here's what I've done so far.
Some work with the infobox and opening paragraphs.
Major rewording of "Inciting a riot" section.
Major rewording of "Aftermath" section.
Minor edits on the overall article.
Well, that's it for today. I likely won't be able to get on the wiki tomorrow due to prior commitments, though TST and I hope to finish up this assignment this weekend. Thanks both Guard and Teller. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:43, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
Read through most of it, wording and content both sound good so far.
Just if I can raise a suggestion as usual, I'd suggest removing Ezio from the first opening paragraph at the least - might just be my personal opinion, but the cause for the riot seemed to be more centered on the Janissaries' corrupt actions, rather than on him. He helped, of course, but I'd think he should only be mentioned a bit later on. =GuardDog 11:17, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
TST and I have nominated the article for FA, after we came to consensus about the article's quality once I updated it per your comments. As always, a vote in its nomination would be greatly appreciated :P. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 00:57, January 10, 2012 (UTC)
Sorry that I failed to give my final evaluation here, but thanks for updating it via my comments on the nomination page. Will mark this project as closed by the end of the week deadline, as it seems it'll pass unless there's a Nay vote before then. =GuardDog 04:30, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
Your apprenticeship is coming to a close, so let me just offer a few comments on the final stretch. These last few assignments should involve FA status-worthy ones, which I leave to your choosing. You can partner on them if you wish, but note that I only generally credit it as half, unless specifically mentioned that you've done more than such. Thus I'd recommend projects of your own where possible.
Riot assignment looks good, thus I'd suggest you pursue other event articles, such as Assault on Masyaf, or older ones such as the Pazzi Conspiracy.
Or you could play to your other strengths, and work on character or location articles. Perhaps ones involving non-main games could use the most attention, such as Basilisk or Cyprus.
What ever you choose (need not pick from my suggestions) just do list them here. Thanks Nos, it's been fun working with you :p =GuardDog 05:03, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
It's been very fun working with you as well, Guard. You've taught me a lot, and I feel much more confident as an editor than I did at the outset of my apprenticeship, and for your time and effort, I sincerely thank you :).
Regarding the topics, I'll do these assignments independently, as that's the way I work best (No offense to TST, you, or anyone I've worked with). I checked out the article Skirmish in the Campagna District, and I think I'll try that, though it's difficult to tell how an article is until actually editing it, in my experience.
I just have one last question regarding this final stretch: How many articles will I be promoting to FA during these last ranks? I'm not impatient or anything :P, I'm just curious to see how many I should look for in total, but I understand if you're not sure or anything. Thanks as always. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 23:47, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
You're very welcome :) Anyway, as you said, sure the Skirmish should be a fine aim for you. Both quotes and paragraphing are a bit lengthy, so you should be able to do good work with it. And you're right - if ever you start editing and find it non-FA worthy, just say so and it can be treated as a regular assignment, and it need not be nominated.
I'm estimating you should do about 4 or 5 FAs to reach your graduation (depending on the difficulty or amount of revamping of each). You'll reach Rank 12 when Riot's been cleared, then you'll need about 2 to get to Rank 13, then 2 or 3 for Rank 14; at which I'll submit your evaluation and application into the Istruttorium. =GuardDog 02:55, January 13, 2012 (UTC)
Well, today I had a good amount of time, so I got a lot of work done XD. In all honesty, I reworded basically the entire page, and replaced all of the images.
At first, the article was essentially a walkthrough-type thing of the memories associated with the event; however, in its current state, I believe the article succeeds in explaining the actual event. That being said, I'll admit I was uncertain about a few things considering I've never revamped an article about a battle. Nevertheless, I believe the article is in good shape, even enough for FA (That sounds weird to say after just a day of editing, but it's my honest opinion), though as always, your comments and input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 05:26, January 14, 2012 (UTC)
Went through it, and found that it reads quite well, and quotes fit. Just a few comments listed below:
Format of quotes - know that you don't need to include the [...] unless it's in the middle of the quote. It's not needed at the beginning or end.
Wording - mostly quite easy to read, save perhaps for three occasions. For the following, I'd recommend:
"Acquiescing in Ezio's proposal, Bartolomeo briskly departed..." to "Giving in to Ezio's proposal..." or "Ceding to Ezio's proposal..."
"Eventually, the Baron brandished his armament and directed it at Pantasilea..." to "Eventually, the Baron turned his gun upon Pantasilea..." or "Eventually, the Baron brandished his rifle toward Pantasilea..."
"laude" to "praise" or "compliment"
Opening section - though the current information seems fitting, I'd recommend an addition of background of the Bartolomeo-Octavian struggles in the opening section. Much like Riot, it should briefly mention the context of the battle in question (a short paragraph on the before and after). I think it's valid to speak of how long Bartolomeo's been fighting against the French (refer "Between A Rock And A Hard Place"), as well as mention how this battle is what closed their divided attention, and allowed the Assassins to focus on the Borgia.
That's it so far, hope these comments are helpful :p =GuardDog 09:04, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Those comments are very helpful, though I hope just one time I can make an article perfect so there are no comments, as impossible as that seems XD.
I've nominated it for FA, after implementing your suggestions and some final edits. I'm a bit nervous, but I guess I'm always that way when nominating articles for the highest possible status. If you have a moment to check the article out and vote, I'd be very grateful.
Also, with this article nominated now for FA, I'll browse for other articles and just notify you here when I think I've located an optimal one, but I'll still keep my eye on the nomination page and act on any comments anyone makes. Thanks, as always :P. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 19:00, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Okay, I'll go vote for it right after this. And don't worry too much about the getting perfect article, there's a reason the wiki has so many eyes to work XD And even if there isn't something wrong, some people would change something slightly just for personal taste reasons, and that's understandable too. Doesn't mean it's not something to strive for though ;)
Sure, will be waiting for your update then. Let's just keep your last 4 articles under this Blank Assignment header though, at least as long as this comments section doesn't get too long :p =GuardDog 01:27, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
XD I can just imagine a massive comments section at the end of this. In seriousness, though, would you approve of my next work to be Infiltration of the Janissary Camp? It looks much better than Skirmish in terms of basic layout, though I definitely see some good work I could provide there. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 01:37, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
Well, think of the wall of text as your farewell to the Coop XD Anyway, sure, the Infiltration should be fitting, I'll mark it here. Just one suggestion: some interesting info about the Janissaries is revealed during the relevant missions, so you might want to mention those too. Good luck with it. =GuardDog 01:52, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
First off, I'd just like to inform you that Riot at the Harbor of Theodosius has passed as FA, so I will collapse that assignment once you've read this.
Secondly, I did some major work on the Infiltration article today. I'm planning to edit some more tomorrow, possibly get a few others' (including yourself, hopefully) perspectives and comments on it, before applying it for FA. While I do that, I'll keep an eye on Skirmish's nomination, as well as look for other FA articles as this one is close to being done in my opinion. Have a nice night, Guard. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 08:15, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
Don't worry, I collapsed it - congratulations on the nomination, will award the appropriate rank shortly. The Infiltration's opening section in particular sounds good so far, I'll look forward to the rest of your updates tomorrow then. =GuardDog 09:11, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
I've completed my work on the article, and I believe it is ready for FA nomination. I did some more rewording and adjustments, and it looks worthy of that status in my opinion. I'll wait on nominating it in case you have any questions or comments.
Also, with this article nearly finished, I was considering doing the article next in the timeline, Destruction of the Great Chain. It needs some expansion, particularly in the Aftermath section, as well as some rewording and formatting work. Would you approve of me to revamp this article next once Infiltration of the Janissary camp is done? Thank you. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 22:26, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
All right, Infiltration looks good - seems complete, and your wording's improving. I only caught one typo in the header "Procuing Janissary attire", but that's about it. As for the third article, go ahead and do Destruction. I'd just recommend mentioning some background on the Great Chain, and the different methods armies would use to try to circumvent it. Good luck with it, and with the next nomination. =GuardDog 09:59, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
Ah, thanks for that, I didn't even see it. I fixed that minor typo, and nominated it for FA, and hopefully I'll begin work on Destruction in the next few days. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 11:56, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
I've done some more rewording and work on the article, and I believe it's now ready for FA; however, it's lengthy worries me, though I see no ways to expand it further :/. Any comments you have prior to nomination would be great.
Also, for my next assignment, what do you think about Colosseum Passion Play? I've discovered that I fair well with these event articles, and I see a lot of work that could be done there in terms of wording, sections and section titles, and the overall amount of information, which could be reduced in my opinion as currently, from a cursory look that is, it feels like a walkthrough rather than an actual article. Thanks GD.
Update - I did some work with the Colosseum article in terms of formatting, infobox, the opening section, and a few main sections which I've reworded up until "Assassination and skirmish." From here, once I receive your approval for this article, I'll just edit this one as I've done the past few: expansion and rewording of the introduction and aftermath, and rewording of the main paragraphs, with image replacement in there too. However, Sima has informed me that Vatsa is working on acquiring new images for Brotherhood memories, beginning with Patching The Leak. If this is the case, I would reword the entire article, leave the apprentice revamp tag on there, and then work on Fall of the Palaiologi (assuming you approve :P) while I wait for the images. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 21:49, January 20, 2012 (UTC)
Hm sorry for the delay in my reply, Nos. Anyway, Destruction reads well enough, good opening section. Read through it, and you're right, it's slightly short, though on no fault of yours - I can't really think of anything else that can be added. Maybe mention that Yusuf and his Assassins helped by clearing the docks, and add into the aftermath how the Ottoman Navy was crippled? (which I assume since they weren't able to chase after Ezio :p) Otherwise, I approve of the nomination.
As for the Passion and the Fall articles, sure both of those should be fine. And you're right, the Passion could use a couple more images, but waiting for Vatsa's high quality ones should be worth it. Your plan to work them in tandem should work for the last rank.
Thanks for the update; as usual, just please let me know here how it's going so far :p =GuardDog 05:32, January 22, 2012 (UTC)
Well I've finished the Passion Play article already XD, sorry if its too much to ask, but could you possibly review the article? I feel better about it in terms of length, though it would be great to get another's perspective. Also, once I act on any comments you have, I'll put this article on hold while I wait for Vatsa's images, and I'll begin to work on the Fall article. Lastly, I'll attempt to expand Destruction. Thanks! Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 05:42, January 22, 2012 (UTC)
That was fast, sorry I didn't see your reply right away XD For my comments on the Colosseum article:
Opening section - Maybe insert a little bit about the Passion play itself before saying the AC relevance. (Though not too much, perhaps little more than a phrase with the Wikipedia link, such as, "The Colosseum Passion Play was a dramatic depiction of the Passion of Christ held in the Colosseum in 1503, in which the Assassin...")
Meeting with la Volpe - Typo error in quote description, I assume you meant "suspicions."
Wording - perhaps "...the lover of Lucrezia Borgia, who also maintained a key..." to "...the lover of Lucrezia Borgia, who had been given a key..."; "repudiate" to "avoid"; and "Believing to be reprieved" to "Believing that he had been forgiven"
Names - for uniformity's sake, do remember to use first names where possible, so all instances of "Machiavelli" in article body should be "Niccolò"
Aftermath - incorrect link for the Apple of Eden
Otherwise the article, seems quite complete with info and links. Do keep me updated, with your simultaneous articles as well (since I see you've been improving those too).
Also, on a side note, I wanted to apologize for the misdirected advice I gave you for Destruction - perhaps I wanted to pad it out too much with information on the chain itself. Thanks for correcting it as per Blaidd's advice though. =GuardDog 02:02, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
Don't worry about it, we all make mistakes :).
In terms of an update, I rectified Colosseum Passion Play to your comments, and am now just waiting for the remaining images from Vatsa. Two of the articles, Skirmish and Infiltration, have recently passed for FA. Another, Destruction of the Great Chain, has received some comments, though I'll make any necessary changes to acquire votes.
Lastly, I began my work today on Fall of the Palaiologi, with rewording finished up to the "Destruction of Byzantine weaponry" section. In addition, I just need to reword and expand that section, as well as reword the remaining portion of the article and expand the introduction after that. Once that's done, I'll make my final revisions, before waiting a day or two to receive your comments. After that, I'll nominate that article, and then monitor all of the nominations prior to the submission of my Istruttore application and evaluation by yourself.
Now that I'm so-close to being done, I can't deny I'm certainly apprehensive for the voting, but I guess whatever happens is in the wiki's best interests after all; whether that is good or bad for me is irrelevant. Thanks for everything as always, Guard. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:32, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
I've finished my work on the "Fall of the Palaiologi" article (yes already :P), and I'd like if you could have a look prior to nomination to reduce comments there and such. Also, just to make this easier and to clarify, here's the status of all of the articles for this final stretch.
Fall of the Palaiologi - Waiting on final revisions from both you and myself.
Well, that's pretty much it. I hope this clarifies this whole last bit, as I was rather confused myself. Thanks GD. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 02:00, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
Good work on the nominations for those first two, you're halfway (or rather, a bit more than half) through this final stretch. Don't worry too much about the Istruttore nominations, I have faith in you :) Besides, no matter what happens, it's a noted achievement to make it through the Apprentice Initiative in the first place.
Now, moving on to the working FAs, I've voted for Destruction, but seems Nesty may still come up with some comments, so I assume that's still pending.
As for Colosseum, it seems worthy now, though I still see about 3 instances of "Machiavelli" in the last section. Should be a quick fix though. Anyway, as you said, mostly just the new images are needed.
As for Fall... I really shouldn't be surprised anymore, but that was fast XD Okay, again, here are a few of my comments:
Opening - no comment actually, this just seemed particularly well-written and detailed :p
Liberation of Dilara - quote can be shortened, cutting out the "Did you happen to see that?"
Wording - "assaulted to death" can be "beaten to death" or "tortured to death"
That's about all. Thanks for the updates as usual, Nos. =GuardDog 13:06, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
Alright, sorry about those extra "Machiavelli"s, it was just a basic error on my part. I've updated the Fall article according to your comments, and have nominated it for FA. I'll leave a comment again here when Vatsa's images come in for the Colosseum article, and then I'd just like to say a brief bit before my Istruttore application is submitted if that's alright. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:09, January 26, 2012 (UTC)
Don't worry about it, it's a very minor issue. As for the Fall, I'll go vote on it after this, and will also wait for your final update on the Colosseum. Just remember that all will have to clear voting before your last rank.
Regarding the brief bit you have to say before the Istruttore nomination, not to worry, I won't submit the application until you feel you're ready. It's up to you almost more than up to me, so say as you will when the time comes. :) =GuardDog 14:15, January 26, 2012 (UTC)
Well, this is just a brief message to say that Destruction of the Great Chain has passed as FA, which now means 3 of the 5 articles have passed. Fall of the Palaiologi is currently voting, and Colosseum Passion Play just needs the final Vatsa images. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:00, January 30, 2012 (UTC)
Thanks for the update. Sorry for a slight miscount I had with your rank (should have been 13 after your first, then 14 after your next two), thus I'll just give you 14 now, a bit late. 15 will be awarded upon nomination of the last two, then we can have our final discussion here. =GuardDog 10:59, January 30, 2012 (UTC)
Well, Fall of the Palaiologi has passed as FA, leaving only Colosseum Passion Play. The article's basically done, except that it does need those final Vatsa images. I'm not sure when he'll have them, though I hope soon. I would consider asking him again, but I don't want to come off as a badgerer. Possible if I nominated the article, it would catalyze him to get those final images? I'm not sure at this point, but I would like for the article to be nominated soon. Thanks. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 01:24, February 2, 2012 (UTC)
Sure, I agree, go ahead and nominate it. I just recommend you mention that it might still need images, and that you'll be adding them as soon as they're available. It might even be acceptable to some as is, and if not, at least people can begin reading/assessing it. =GuardDog 10:32, February 2, 2012 (UTC)
Alright, well I've nominated Fall, so a final vote from you there would be great. I'll monitor the FA nomination page, and hopefully this can pass relatively easily and then I can just conclude my apprenticeship with that last final bit I was talking with you about. Thanks :P. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 03:02, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
Okay, so Colosseum Passion Play has passed as FA, which concludes my apprenticeship I guess (feels so weird to say that :P). Here's just what I'd like to say before you give you submit my application with your evaluation to the Istruttorium.
I'd just like to say that I've done my best at editing, but I know that I'm not like you or Blaidd when it comes to wording, and I know that I certainly have some flaws. I know that these may consider you or others to vote Nay for my Istruttore nomination, which I understand. Despite this, I hope that my apprenticeship has showed you some of the good qualities I possess, but I won't attempt to argue why I believe I should be in the Istruttorium, merely because I don't like speaking about myself. And although I know that I have made countless mistakes on the wiki, whether they be in terms of behavior, editing, or something else, I would love to continue editing here as an Istruttore. Regardless of my nomination's outcome, however, I will still continue to edit here as it is an awesome place :).
Well, that's pretty much it, GuardDog. I've had an awesome apprenticeship, and you've been a great mentor and instructor to me. You've taught me a lot, and I won't forget it. Your kindess and selflessness is pretty awesome too; I know that I wasn't the easier student to work with, but I hope that you enjoyed at least some of my apprenticeship. I can't thank you enough for taking me under your wing, and I wish I could make you an awesome avatar like Sixteen or Teller, but I lack basic art skill XD.
Thank you so much, Master GuardDog, and have a wonderful evening. Nostalgia ACLet's talk. 22:56, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
Rest assured, I've seen plenty of your good qualities, and will make sure to mention them. Don't worry about any flaws too, I still have a healthy helping of those, even after almost a couple of years :p
I've honestly enjoyed mentoring you, you've been such a hard-working and eager student the entire apprenticeship - I'm just glad I didn't disappoint you. Also, you're very welcome, and not to worry, your kind words are enough XD
Anyway, I'm currently writing out your nomination - I wish the best of luck to you Nos, and hope to count you amongst the Istruttore ranks soon. Whatever the results of the nomination though, I fully support you, and look forward on continuing to work alongside you. Hope you have a good evening too :) =GuardDog 23:39, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
