
Is there a more pleasant sound than the clinking of horns filled with delicious drinks? I didn't think so. Let me tell you about the grand celebration held at Ravensthorpe last week. The Raven Clan has always been good at celebrating our successes and victories; we regularly gather to applaud the Gods or hail newly wed couples and newborn babies. If there is cause for celebration, we will throw a party. Raising the horns together always provides solace for suffering and misfortune. Life is short enough as it is. No matter how courageously you try your best on the battlefield, one deflected enemy arrow in your neck and you may depart for the Fields of the Eternal Hunt.
I should note that I am not afraid to die; however, let us not spend the short time we have on Earth fighting, but let us spend it well with singing, pleasure and whatever else, for Odin's sake.[note 1] That is my mantra.
We held our celebration in honor of Bent Hagarsson the Sleep Slayer, whom I still remember from the old days in Heillboer, in our distant motherland. Bent's father was also called Hagar With The Mouse On His Head because he always walked around with a little mouse in his imposing hairdo, a creature that evidently felt perfectly at home there.
[[File:|thumb|Bent and Eivor with Hagar in their settlement at Heillboer.]]
One day, Hagar made a fine wooden sword for his son. He had spent hours planing and sanding it.
He was proud of his work, and rightly so. Viking children aren't yet allowed to play with sharp metal swords and axes by their parents, no matter how much they want to. Instead, they get sometimes beautiful, sometimes rather boorish practice copies made from wood. At least Bent's sword was a lot nicer than the glorified ladle I had gotten from my brother Sigurd.
I remember how Bent and I had gone into one of Rygjafylke's forests the afternoon he had gotten his sword. We held mock fights until we tiredly collapsed, after which we mused a little about the stories of our ancestors while laying in the snow. Bent had gotten a leather flask with diluted mead from his mother, a mead we eagerly guzzled down.
Then, Bent spotted a molehill near a sheltered spot under a tree. He merrily jumped up to stick his newly gifted wooden sword into the hole, probably hoping to skewer a mole for supper. Surely, that would make his mother happy!
To his surprise, however, his sword got stuck in the ground. No matter how he wriggled and pulled: it wasn't budging. The incident brought to mind a story I once heard about a sword that had been stuck in a stone and couldn't come out.
Bent decided to try one final attempt to wriggle the wooden thing free, using all his muscles. After a few minutes of pulling and pounding, something actually happened. It was moving! In fact, Bent's father's sword broke... mercilessly in two. Oops.
Alarmed, Bent and I looked at the muddied stub he had pulled out of the hole.
"What should we do, Eivor?" Bent asked, but I didn't know the answer either.
Later that afternoon, we reluctantly returned to Hagar, who sat contentedly drinking mead in front of his house. Occasionally, he held his filled horn near his forehead so the little mouse that lived in his hairdo could take a small gulp of the mead as well.

Hagar was overcome with wrath when he saw the broken sword, a great anger which he directed at Bent. Hagar was convinced—justifiably so—that his son had once again behaved recklessly. He barked an old Viking proverb at his son, "He who breaks a sword has more muscles than brains."
Before Bent could say anything to defend himself, I yelled, "It's my fault."
Bent, Hagar and the little mouse on Hagar's head looked at me in bewilderment.
"I put the sword in a molehill and I accidentally broke it when I couldn't get it out," I said.
I must have sounded guilty, as Hagar calmed down. He was very fond of me, and a wooden children's sword being broken wasn't so terrible after all. Children will be children. Later, it occurred to me that he might have realized I had taken the blame at that moment. Be that as it may, this event forged an even deeper bond than we already had between Bent and I. Now that I had sacrificed myself for him to his father, he would throw himself into battle for me multiple times when we walked shoulder to shoulder—and, later, sword to sword and ax to ax.
Hagar With The Mouse On His Head had not been discouraged by the incident with the wooden sword. Years later, when we were preparing our exodus to England, he gave Bent a beautiful metal sword, a so-called ulfberht[note 2] which he had worked on for months in the forge. Bent, now an adult, promised to take good care of the weapon. The sword even earned him his nickname, for his father's gift filled him with so much pride that he fell asleep on his sleeping mat with it every night. 'Never be an inch removed from your weapons,' the elders used to sing to the children, a song that has served its purpose for Bent.
For when he was ambushed by two Anglo-Saxon[note 3] thieves who were after his imposing sword one fateful night, he drowsily grabbed for his sword rather than surrender himself to his assailants, after which he beheaded both thieves at the same time in one fell swoop. The incident has given Bent a legendary status to this day, which he has regularly lived up to—because, truthfully, I don't know a more fearless guy than him. He still sleeps with his sword at his side. Just as I always have my ax within reach, for that matter.
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Concerning the immense celebration we organized for him in Ravensthorpe last week. Recently, part of our clan went on a mission to a castle in Snotinghamscire with a pair of well-loaded longships.[note 4] Everything was going well until Bent was unexpectedly knocked unconscious by some Anglo-Saxon creeper during a raid in a village along one of the rivers, out of our sight. He hadn't seen the blow coming; from a shadowy corner, he received a bludgeon with a bat to the back of his head.
Well, that can happen to the best of us; I've taken a hit or two myself. About ten thousand times, I reckon. Injuries are part of the battle and the saying goes: if you can't take, you can't dish out.
The annoying thing, however, was that none of us had seen what had happened to Bent nor what happened to him afterwards. While the fighting continued in full force elsewhere in the village—and we acquired a lot of loot—some villagers secretly wrapped our unconscious Bent in a large burlap cloth, after which he was hoisted onto a wagon to be abducted in the direction of a neighboring settlement.
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- Snotinghamscire: The castle was legendary for its riches and it was well guarded. During its plunder, Eivor's clan lost many warriors. Including Bent. Or so they thought anyway...
- Lincolnshire: The Anglo-Saxon bastion where Bent and Eivor bested at least about 15 English soldiers together. A heroic action that made them immortal within their Raven Clan. And far beyond.
- Ravensthorpe: The English base of Eivor and her Raven clan. The settlement where drinking horns were raised in honor of fallen warriors. As well as simply to test perseverance.
A few hours later, in the enemy camp, Bent slowly awoke from his stupor, chained up in a dark hut with smelly straw on the ground. Overwhelmed by a throbbing headache, he looked at the darkness in the dank shack; it smelled as if goats had shat themselves for years on end. Was he in Niflhel, where the goddess Hel reigns? According to myth, Bent would then have sailed to the Corpse Shore on the so-called nail ship, made from the nails of the deceased.
He took a closer look into the shadowy darkness, and as he heard men bellowing in the distance, it slowly dawned on him that he had not yet left the Land of the Living. At that moment, he began to suspect that he had been knocked unconscious and captured by elated Anglo-Saxons who were on a drinking binge because they had finally caught an intruder. The hoodlums had "nefarious plans," as it is known in the language of the ancients. Their goal must have been to rustle information about the Raven clan out of Bent or to sell him for ransom to the highest bidder.

What the cowardly captors had not taken into account, however, was Bent's brutal, almost inhuman strength. Lying in his prison, he began to pull on his chains. Soon, he noticed some slack where the chain was attached to a large wooden beam. He managed to wriggle free with a tremendous effort. When he could move his hands freely again, he overpowered two unsuspecting guards with one thump, knocking them both out. Apparently, he had not yet forgotten how to neutralize two assailants at once.
To his immense relief, Bent saw that one of the unconscious jailers had his beloved sword, his father's beautifully decorated weapon, hanging from his belt. He took the ulfberht back from the half-dead guard, after which he entered the village, searching for his captors. Fierce fighting ensued with at least twenty drunk Anglo-Saxons, and then he managed to leave the enemy settlement behind. Yet it was not over. During a long, almost mythical, quest through the dark forests and vast fields, he engaged in many heroic skirmishes with evil adversaries, until he finally returned to our settlement last week. All's well that ends well. Isn't it?
When Bent reached Ravensthorpe, it seemed all but extinct. Almighty Odin, if only a decisive battle with the enemy had not been fought in his absence, he must have thought, looking at the deserted houses. Worried, he began to look for signs of life: a smoking chimney, someone hanging clean clothes or feeding the animals. Distraught, he ran through the paths of our settlement, his father's sword in his hand, ready to fight again, to kill if he had to.
What he didn't know was that at that moment a grand celebration was being held in memory of... well, him.
We commemorated the disappearance of Bent the Sleep Slayer, the loyal warrior we had been so unfortunate to leave behind on our mission near Snotinghamscire. To other peoples it may seem tasteless, but Vikings host an exuberant and appreciative drinking party when a loved one of ours has sailed to Valhalla.[note 5] When Bent proved untraceable after the battle, we searched for him for hours, until night began to fall and we had to make the sad decision to take our seats in our drakkars and move on. We had to leave our brave friend behind with a saddened heart, for further searching was pointless at that point. Do you realize how tough that decision was? Later on, I went looking for him myself a few more times, because a friend never abandons a friend. To my great sorrow, I did not find him.








