Talk:Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad: Difference between revisions
imported>Candid canid →Corrected spelling/grammar: new section |
imported>Gabriel Auditore mNo edit summary |
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This sentence is in desperate need of rephrasal. I reccomend "While the attacking templars were <u>t</u>aking the village, slaughtering its inhabitants, and besieging the castle, Altaïr and several groups of Assassins ran to defend <strike>the village</strike>'' ''it." be substituted. | This sentence is in desperate need of rephrasal. I reccomend "While the attacking templars were <u>t</u>aking the village, slaughtering its inhabitants, and besieging the castle, Altaïr and several groups of Assassins ran to defend <strike>the village</strike>'' ''it." be substituted. | ||
[[User:Candid canid|Candid canid]] ([[User talk:Candid canid|talk]]) 09:12, September 7, 2012 (UTC) | |||
Amended. Thank you for pointing this out. {{User:Gabriel Auditore/sig}} 10:00, September 7, 2012 (UTC) | |||
Revision as of 12:00, 7 September 2012
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Corrected spelling/grammar
Under "Siege of Masyaf", there is a line reading "Taking the village, slaughtering its inhabitants, and besieging the castle, Altaïr and several groups of Assassins ran to defend the village."
This is incorrect sentence structure and does not - strictly speaking - make any sense. The way this sentence is written implies that Altaïr and the other Assassins were the ones taking the village, slaughtering its inhabitants, etc.
This sentence is in desperate need of rephrasal. I reccomend "While the attacking templars were taking the village, slaughtering its inhabitants, and besieging the castle, Altaïr and several groups of Assassins ran to defend the village it." be substituted.
Candid canid (talk) 09:12, September 7, 2012 (UTC)
Amended. Thank you for pointing this out. ~ GI Auditore Comms Channel 10:00, September 7, 2012 (UTC)