User:Cymbalta/Facts about the Holy Land

Traveling to the Holy Land? Here's some fun facts to help you enjoy your stay!

Eagle Vision

Assassin's aren't they only ones with eagle vision! The following is a brief list of others with this nifty skill:

• Archers. These guards protect our streets from the rooftops and castle ramparts. They are gifted with the ability to spot an assassin running on rooftops. However, they do not have the ability to figure out that an assassin running towards them is trying to kill them.
• Templars. Crusaders who speak French with a bad accent, these gentle giants protect our streets everywhere. Not only can they see an assassin, they'll try and kill them without a second thought!
• Alcoholics Anonymous of the Holy Land members. These commoners, sadly inebriated by alcohol, still contain the faculties to be able to tell an assassin apart from anyone else. They do their civic duty by shoving them.
• Beggars. Poor women who have fallen on hard times, but only think to give their children a few toys. They are well aware of the the hidden assassin gold, and have learned to spot one from the crowd. They try their best to get money from them. Many have been seen in the streets with knife slits near the kidneys...

Water

Thanks to the latest in clothing styles, all clothing worn in the Holy Land is highly absorbent to water. This, combined with the fact that all books on swimming have been burned, has lead to a nation of non-swimmers. Even the illustrious Assassins have forgotten the lost art of treading water.

Amazingly, water in the Holy Land has a mind of its own, and can choose when to be reflective.

Assassins...

• ...are rich. This is why beggars try to take their money.
• ...are incredibly good pick pockets. That's how they got so rich in the first place.
• ...never miss with a throwing knife.
• ...steal horses.
• ...look just like scholars, minus the whole sword thing.
• ...are also BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! with scholars.
• ...have a compulsive disorder involving gathering flags.
• ...are really nice guys after all. At least, thats what those vigilantes said.
• ...have eyes that are really sensitive to sunlight, and must always wear low covering hoods both indoors and outdoors.
• ...have amazing stamina and can run at a full sprint forever without ever getting tired.
• ...don't know how to pick locks (why is there a chest on top of the big church in rich Acre!?!?!)
• ...wear outfits made out of a state-of-the-art, stain resistant fabric. No matter how much blood they get on themselves, their outfit stays a perfect sparkling white.
• ...(please add on to this!)

Citizens...

• ...are either Arabian or English...
• ...or both (oooh, scary thought.)
• ...Always have rocks to throw at you, despite the fact that the ground is fine-grained sand. Go figure.

Finally, the question that has bothered me for AGES: If Desmond is a relative of Altair, who did Altair have a child with? Where did he find the time!? (Perhaps those stays in the Assassin's Guilds aren't as lonely as they look...)