User:Soranin/An Encyclopaedic Tale

Prologue

Come one come all to the marvellous world of puppetry!

In this particular theatre we will present to you the story of a person, driven mad by the aristocrats responsible for publishing and press. An amazing story spanning over two years. Infamy, metaphors and wars in this play where you might not be just audience, but a character too!

Act 1

Tensions began in far away year of 2018. Such a simpler time it was. Though not all was well in the publishing house of Assassin’s Creed Wikia: Enter from the east, our very own sun: Sol Pacificus. You see, Sol worked very hard in publishing page after page of history ancient and modern. Two pages sparked both a revolution and the start of our tale: John Pitcairn and Nicholas Biddle.

Because, from stage left comes our main character, Batalex 34. Ol’ Battie had come to wage war against the publishers over many of the documents, though a particular interest was shown to some, like Isabelle Ardant, Alan Rikkin and the Cult of Kosmos. Much of his earlier work was reversed by The Cat Master. Meow, indeed.

“How important it is that you erase the information just because it is better than what was before. If you tell me, I forgive you, okay. I just need to know the importance” -They would claim, to whoever might be hearing, though warnings and explanations given had no effect. Sol, ever patient and caring reached out to Cristophorus35 thinking that maybe a language barrier could be breached.

Alas, not even the efforts of our beautiful Cris could stop the wheels of war from turning. On June, the first exile order was given and the writers involved thought it would end there. But you see, my dear audience, a good play often has more than just one act.

Act 2

As we all know, a disguise is sometimes necessary. Not every venue is as welcoming as one would like, and we choose some aspects that are better kept hidden away, if only for a moment. But this is story is not about us, at least not in the spotlight.

By July, Batalex had donned a costume of our beloved Altair and now called himself “Altair45678”. A mockery of our dear assassin. A mask might be all well and good but if one doesn’t hide their proclivities, I might wonder what is it even for. Two labels from other publishing houses (Marvel Cinematic Universe Wiki and Series de España Wiki) could be seen dangling from him. And that’s not to say the interests remained the same: Alan Rikkin, the cult, Templars, Alexios‎, Kassandra, and of course, battling both Cat and Sol.

Discovered, he put on the garb of religion, becoming God5645. One might be tempted to warn that ego comes before the fall, but let’s be honest, it would not be as entertaining. And so, god turned to the Cat and said “That information is not important does not mean that it is necessary to erase it, that is discrimination”. If you ever met a cat, dear reader, then you must know that those felines do not fear retribution from above. Neither did our lovely Cat Master from this numbered deity.

According to the bible, God made it rain for forty days and forty nights, and according to this story God5646 certainly tried a flood of their own.

Act 3

Aloha34 had eyes for Isabelle Ardant and Alan Rikkin, as did Kenway32. Kenway, as with most members of the family was a very aggressive personality, however. Being lowered into the stage softly, another character appears: our sweet XOdeyssusx. For you see, dear Odey had the gall to edit over one of Kenway32’s scrambled words. A ‘terrifying’ message was left, terrifying being the fact that someone actually wrote this and was not a joke. Alas, it read: “Hey, I edit what is necessary for me and for other users. You are not nobody to tell me that I edit and I do not edit, they are my ideas and nobody messes with them, right now I would hack your computer, find your address and go to your house to break your face, get out of my path or you will receive my anger, that you have remained well clear how the issue of freedom of expression works, oppressor of the human race.” Any similarity to the marine copypasta, I suppose is merely coincidence.

Sol was once again visited by old Battie, still “disguised” as Kenway: “You're hard to crack. Listen to me very well, you have no right to touch my things, you are behaving like a selfish and tyrant who dreams of being a guide for users, but the only thing you bring is pain and suffering to others, I do it for the people of Famdon and his liberty.”

‘My things’ Hah! As if they had any claim to the works of our lovely publishing house.

Still on the same day, they were Ezio654, Titanic09, Ironman678, TutankahmonGenesis and MemeTroll. Obsessed they were with Ardant and the Victoria Era, they still found time to complain about Sol: “You know what I'm saying. I do not give a shit what you think about my information, and you know why, because you're a twisted selfish person looking for glory, this is my last warning, leave me alone and everything will end well, please, I just want to publish, have a little bit of heart.”

Even a one time member of ours was approached: “He is not aware of what I do, I think he does not understand the information I put and that confuses him, what happens is that he does not know the information I put, does not know what I put, my information is encrypted, I'm sorry, it's better of what I could put, you will have to endure it, because I intend to put and put this information without stopping, even if you block me, and I have defeated you with all my strength.”

The next day was calmer, only two disguises: Apple98 and Eden75. Apple still hyperfocused on the Industrial Revolution, though Eden did have the time to add that Mademoiselle Aveline de Grandpré was -and I quote- “explosively attractive, since she could seduce all kinds of men, to hunt targets or distract.” Charming.

July 13^th had thrice as many faces: Templar657, CaptainSpain, Justice765, Egyth90, PandoraPlanet and Alexander788. Though by now you’d expect a pattern this unlucky day has news for you. Hetepi, Khaliset , Kawab and the Hidden Blade were the chosen pages for their particular brand of vandalism.

“If you do not say why I should stop, I will not stop” – They said to Cat

“If you do not say why I should stop, I will not stop” – They said to Odey

“If you do not say why I should stop, I will not stop” – They said to Sadelyrate, who hadn’t even been mentioned in the story yet.

The next day had JohnAlexander23, Revolution564, Isu567 and MyFriend45. I don’t know about you, but that’s certainly no friend of mine. You get the gist by now, edit, talk to Cat, talk to Sol: “Calm down, guy, a bit of pity. You prefer that I keep editing those pages eternally or that we reach a peace agreement, is that if you do not decide because you delete the information from those pages I will not stop.”

Are you even here? Well, we did play through AC:Odyssey, I suppose our repetitive threshold is higher than most people. New names are Jupiter67, DarthAlex34, T-Rex678, Indiana567,and Empire76. New victims include Phoxidas, Barnabas and MY PATIENCE.

Only 3 versions appeared on July 16^th, with Hetepi being the predilection for all of them: Nazgul08, Liberty654, LordAlex65.

No new disguises appeared on the 17^th, and I suppose there was much rejoicing. I know I would be jumping for joy had I been around to observe this mess. Though people do say there’s always a calm before the storm.

Thankfully, this was not it. The worse was over. A second wave did try to appear on the next day though I believe the good people at this publishing house had already grow accustomed to the nonsense: Sauron654, Jedi78, Pizza345, Wiki654 and KingAlex53. Disregarding the pattern of numbers for a moment, this marks the sixth time the name “Alex” appears on these nom-de-plume. “Enough, calm down” – They say to the Cat. – “Your what you are is a coward, you do not respect your inferiors and you believe better than them, you do not know that there are other people who inspire to put their own information, what motives you have to erase things that are not necessary to erase, huh? Tell me I want to hear it, it's hate, envy.”

Emperor09, RomeEmpire, MorgulPastor and War86 on the 19^th. Fitting to be named war on these trying times. This day, surprisingly enough has a very odd focus on balls, both in their messages to Cat (“It's late, you should be sleeping instead of touching the balls to the other users”) and to Odey (“WHAT IS THAT BEHAVIOR Listen to me piece of imbecile, you have no right to take away what is mine, stop touching my balls.”).

The twentieth was a day of rest, and only a single persona popped up on the 21^st: Olympus56. Quickly silenced. We hardly knew ye. Not a great loss.

The entire month of September had only four appearances of our Battie: Zeus785, Warrior76543, KingAlex65 and Anunaki098. Minor characters, really. Another god, another king, another one to fight in a war. Similar to pieces on the chess board, they all fall rather easily.

October was mostly calm, though there was an uptick of activity nearing the end. Halloween does tend to bring out feral instincts in some, now that I think about it. To add to our roster, we have Thor28654, FutureRobot324, Spartan3452LOL, UltraPower213, VirtualHero54, LionZ34, Laser34LOL and ChaosXD400. Once again, they had the cult in their eyes: “For now, I am putting corresponding information, you cannot rewrite history” - they announced, before rewriting history themselves.

And, dear audience, if you thought Aveline was the only beautiful woman to captivate our Battie, you thought wrong. Cleopatra herself was graced with what can charitably be called a compliment, for she “Had the beauty so similar to that of a goddess, who could seduce any man who came to him, including the most powerful man in Rome, Julius Caesar”.

The rest of 2018 (did you forget this was less than a year, I know I did) had DestructorXD54, GunLaserXD, Iron-Alex985 and Emperor43. They were just doing their job, apparently: “I have reinvested information by another so that you understand what I put, OK. If that is what you do not understand, you tell me or if you do not tell me what you really do not understand. Do not block me, I just do my job” Putting aside the fact that the other was themselves, it is interesting that they claim to work for our lovely publishing house though tries to hinder us at every step.

Ah, such is life. But this war was not one able to be won by mere numbers. I would argue that a war like this cannot be won by the attackers, but if reason had a place in this battle I wouldn’t be here talking to you all. No, the tactic had changed. Perhaps attrition could do what numbers couldn’t.

Act 4

Blade5435 was removed in May, though returned in October to edit their favorite page, as well as to drag Lacrossedeamon into this story. A lovely character, can’t complain about that, but I can complain about the cryptic oddness that Alex seemed to have: “I tell you that it is confirmed look it up on the Internet”, “But it's confirmed in some news, you find out”, “Stop excuses to believe yourself ready” and “Let's see if you find out. You know the media is connected to Ubisoft, and where do you think they get the news?”

I don’t even know with that last one, to be honest.

FireRing54, Applemania43, SayonaraX, R2Tyger and McDestroyer23 surfaced in June doing the usual stuff. The labels from the other two common publishing houses (Marvel Cinematic Universe Wiki and Series de España Wiki, in case you’ve forgotten) were also present. A particular edit I like was one done to Lucy Stillman’s document, named “What I am putting is wisdom” in which they call her a he and presume stuff.

Now, you didn’t hear this from me because it is speculation but it is possible that someone going by the name of Exodius1560 who was banned in August was another disguise. One can’t be certain because most of the edits were to their own user page, removing periods one by one, but the name fit the usual pattern.

September 1^st saw the removal of Soldier43, followed by RevolutionD3 in October 2^nd. The latter seemed to focus on Stephane Chapheau and Odey, who they claim “is 100% confirmed, you know little about logic.” Because, as you know, Odey is the one with issues here.

As PretorianoXD, they were back on their cult nonsense though this was the first and only time they came with “sources”. Turns out their reasoning is based on an article by Access the Animus and another by thegamer dot com.

Spartan3452LOL, Champion875, AvengerXD, HellGamer965,Asgardian65, Aquaman376 and Colonel543, you know how this goes. This batch has some of the best comments that did make me laugh heartily:

• “I'm so sorry, guy. But this information has been on for a year and nobody has erased it, it is sacred for the Wiki. And of course it is confirmed”

• "In a DLC he said that the ideas of the Kosmos Cult will last forever, it is clear proof”

• "don't pay attention to that XOdysseus goofy who is to blame for all this”

• "On the page of Templars is that it is a proto-Templar organization and in leaders proto-Templars is Ghost of Kosmos”

• “You are wrong, there is a lot of news that says it is proto-Templar and they have taken it out of Ubisoft, you find out, it's your fault”

Great comedy if nothing else. Also, shame on us for fixing errors. We’re in the home stretch now, as we finally enter the plague year of 2020.

Act 5

Besides the last gasps of previous personas after their timeout was done, we start this year with visits from SpartanXD, Alex3478, IronAlex54 and Pharaon 2.0. Same labels as usual, though one of them does make a laughable claim: “I am a Wikis rights activist, and I defend this page as good faith”. Ha!

“Who are you?” – They scream at Odey. – “Irrevelant because those who dedicate yourself to hunting vandalism are you so formal? Please speak as a normal person, not as a steward of the Queen of England”.

Pirate32, MadridXD and Alien76XD did essentially nothing interesting and so they get this pathetic little paragraph.

Now, BolcheviqueRF is another story. Oddly, for Eivor’s page they kept reverting and unreverting their own edits. Most curious. What did tip off the lovely editors was the changes to, of course, the Cult of Kosmos:

• "I would say that they are Proto-Templars, because first, they sought Piece of Eden and that is what the Templars of today do, second, they wanted order and to unify Greece, typical of the Templars, third, in the game they said their ideas would n"

• “, is one of the precursors of the Templas Order.You have already learned something.”

• "I see that you lack philosophy, unlike me, let me show you” – They say to Lacrosse.

• "See that you are stubborn and ignore the philosophy, I will have to teach you by hook or by crook. That is like the lute and the guitar of my land, since both share similarities.” – They scream at Odey.

I believe I’m not surprising anyone by saying that your not so humble narrator is also a character of this play, for when I undid his nonsense, I was addressed thus: “Another lower mind. To see if they have some parts of the Templar ideology means that they are precursors. May the power not blind you.”, followed by “Don't let the hunger for power blind you, you have to listen to me, pioneer means that you share similarities before another one arrives, it's that simple.”

Apparently blinded by power, I was forced to listen to them. Luckily, I’m hard of hearing so it led to nothing but their expulsion.

Cerberus07 quickly came to claim “Enough nonsense, they are Proto-Templars because they have some philosophies about the Templars. And deep down you know that I am right, what happens is that you are envious of others and you think you are the best.”. I’m not even going to say anything about this one.

And yesterday (May 9th), finally, we saw the visit of Kraken984, who took to the forums to complain about the protection of the pages they so enjoy vandalizing: “You have made a small mistake, it seems to me. It is not a very good idea that a single page is blocked so that only high-level users can edit, everyone has the right to edit. Also I would say that the Cult of Kosmos is a Proto-Templar organization since they have several ideologies in common, such as order, their opposition to democracy, their search for Piece of Eden, control through chaos, etc. It is like the gladiators of Ancient Rome and the footballers of today. Why? Because the gladiators served to entertain the public through sport, and their amphitheaters were like stadiums.”

One of our sweet editors, Darman36, who hadn’t any contact with this saga even tried to understand. Alas, Kraken couldn’t answer. They had already been blocked. (Lacrosse did fill Darman in a bit later, though). I will end by mentioning that the great Master Sima Yi worked in the shadows during this time and did help remove some of the clutter of accounts, which I’m very thankful for.

Epilogue

And, so, after almost three thousand words, we arrive at now. Who knows what will happen in the future? For now, let us look into the past, lets tally up some things, much like the war templates. The results are below. On our side, we have a total of 9 individuals. On their side, 82 (possibly 83). It’s quite sadder when put into numbers.

Anyway, it is time for the curtains to fall upon this stage, for there is no more that can be said. Goodbye, my dear audience, have pleasant days and I do hope this tale did make you laugh as it did me.

Soranin (talk) 18:05, May 9, 2020 (UTC)

Act 6?

Well, well, well. What do we have here? An update already? I should've known really. So let's get to it. Folling the Kraken's demise, JA Skywalker decided to pick up the torch. The same point about the cult as always, I won't linger on this one.

Soranin (talk) 13:52, May 10, 2020 (UTC)

Honorable Mentions

Unconfirmed though it may be, there is another candidate: Scorpionevo3mk11. You see, scorpion here decided to make new pages filled with nonsense! The city of Troy had "my daughter you make the moon smile... papa", Serrated Bolts ‎ had "if you have one you are an elder." and, my personal favorite, Pharaoh had "i had given you the trident of poseidon from an isla not far of... use it wisely do not ever give your staff to no mortal. dying for absolute no reason justifies death only in limbo. it is a peasants death..".

Certainly not anywhere near conclusive evidence, though it is so entretaining I left it here. VilkaTheWolf‎, another of our corageous publishers, approached the scorpion attempting to communicate. We shall see if anything comes of it and keep all of you updated accordingly.

Update

So, as it turns out, scorps here is probably not Ol' Battie.Though, for the entretainment, he was moved from act 6 to this section, for posterity. So, do you want to know how we figured it wasn't one and the same person? War correspondent, Vilka has the scoop:

• Vilka: Scorpionevo3 has been in the wiki voice chat all day and hasnt done anything lol. They've been streaming Dead by Daylight for 5 hrs.....
• Vilka: hes still in the voice chat, thats over 8hrs....just sitting there doing nothing lol
• Soranin: That's weird
• Soranin: Do they say anything?
• Vilka: nope
• Vilka: his "stream" if you can call it that, was 5hrs of the menu screen
• Vilka: didnt even look like he was playing
• Soranin:That's one expensive screensaver then

And there you have it folks! Vilka has promised to continue monitoring scorps and we will keep you posted.

Soranin (talk) 12:37, May 11, 2020 (UTC)