User:GothicAngeL13

GothicAngeL13
Gothic Me...
Location:	>>Top Secret<<

I truly believe in Ezio Auditore's quote, "Nulla e reale, tutto e lecito.". In this world, people are ruled by their will that they tend to do things irrationally; usually ending up to their demise and misery. Yet this world is nothing but a mere projection of our minds and way of life. We live our lives in our own perspectives and beliefs that we can't truly say if something is 'real' or not-- it may be real for others, but for you it isn't the case.

About Me:

Growing up in an easy and comfortable world, I wasn't used to much hardships and trials. Everything seemed like a breeze for me. Being the only child, I am given everything I need and want.

As I grew older, I started experiencing difficulties and trials. Pressure, fights, broken bonds of friendship and heartbreaks were but a few of the many things I got to experience. I wasn't used to all those travails and so I ended up hurting myself to rid myself of all the emotional and mental pain. Being masochistic has taught me that physical pain can cover up for all the other hurts I have felt.

On 2009, I started roleplaying. RP (Roleplay) has given me another life-- it was like entering another dimension in which I can get to do what I want and be who I want to be. I met other people who thought of the same thing. We existed in that 'dimension' for 2 years until everything came to a halt when the site we roleplay in changed to a gaming site and our lives as roleplayers met an immediate stop.

Fortunately, I was still able to retain some of the people I met during my days as a roleplayer. We became friends in real life until eventually, it came to a point wherein one of them became more than just my friend and we had one complicated relationship that led to a fight amongst my other friends and co-roleplayers. Just when I thought I was able to escape from trouble and problems, a big one came up when my friends began fighting and loathing each other... all because of me.

A New Life:

Rock Howard: I'd put in a real pic of him, but it'll be too public. ;)

I went back to my masochistic ways despite my friends' pleads to stop. I face school everyday with litheless energy although I do my best to keep up a happy-go-lucky pretense so as to not worry my friends so much. Playing games like Assassin's Creed, Call Of Duty and Tekken has kept me sane. Because of everything I have been through, I shut my heart out to real emotions and feelings. I had relationships in which I wasn't at all serious with it. I went back to roleplaying in different sites and pretending to be the complete opposite of who I really am. I even started my own guild and had members do the dirty work of defeating my former friends for me-- without any of them really knowing who I am.

I thought this life would go on and I would be this way for the rest of my life. Yet that all changed when I met Rock Howard. He was more or less like me. At first, I thought he was just one carefree, peculiar, annoying and rude guy. Later, I found out that he was just like me-- covering his true emotions and pain with an impeccable facade. Time went by and our friendship bloomed to a more platonic kind of romance. It reached a point wherein I finally broke all my facades, pretenses and walls and I allowed myself to just fall for him. He promised that he'll love me forever. Knowing his suicidal, sacrificial and masochistic but sincere personality, I know he will keep his promise.

I decided to start a new life. Now that the barriers of my heart have been shattered, I re-learned to love others truly again. I started new friendships and rekindled bonds with past acquaintances. I stopped video-gaming for a while and went back to playing my sports like swimming and tennis. I started a band with my friends, which we named 'Juveniles n' Knights' (JnK).

Summer of 2012, I started roleplaying again. This time, though, I stick to characters which portray my true personality and not just a pretentious side of me. Yet after all the glitches and changes I've been through, there is still one side of me that stays true: the secretive, quiet and assassin-like part of me.

Things fell apart mid-2012 but I was glad Rock and I remained to be friends. I began focusing on school again and the co-curricular activities and organizations that I participate in. I graduated with honors on March 2013 and proceeded to prepare for my college life. 

Red Flame (Returning Vengeance)

~AUGUST 2012: I met a man whom I thought would be my refuge and emotional 'salvation'. He is- as I say- an expert at nearly everything. A master cosplayer, dancer (who shows his skills off in dance-arcade games such as Dance Central, DDR and PIU), beatboxer and computer wiz; he stands at 6'2 and is popular around almost every social group in the area. 

We became acquaintances, friends then- later on- more than friends. One particular night in December 2012, he visited my home to meet my parents. On the rooftop terrace, with just the right breeze and the full moon shining like an overhead warm-light bulb, he changed my entire perspective of the world- earned my trust in humanity back and made me fall madly in love with him. As if in affirmation, a red star shot right across the sky- it passed three stars before disappearing out of plain sight.

~DECEMBER 27, 2012: He and I went on our first date. It was more of an adventure than a date but was highly enjoyed by both of us. In the ride home, he planted a light kiss upon my lips. I thought I have had enough of petty romances, but at that moment, I felt like a moth drawn to light- only that I didn't know that light would turn out to be quite a dangerous flame. 

~JANUARY - APRIL 2013: Though the man and I have become untimely lovers, he never thought of making our relationship official; and every time I ask, he would always reply that he wasn't ready for another relationship yet, and that he needs time to heal from his very recent heartbreak. Of course, I believed this; I didn't mind much that he doesn't acknowledge me in front of his friends or peers and that he just treats me like a mere acquaintance around people he knows even if he says I mean so much to him when we are conversing in private. To me it seemed like I was a secret lover; in times when we are alone or when we are around people who don't know (or don't give a damn) about us, he is the sweetest and most loving man to me- he would assure and re-assure me that he only loves me and that things would later on just fall into place at the right time. 

I have loved him more than I have loved anyone else. I supported him in everything he desires and always helped him- even financially during his cosplay problems. He and I shared intimacy like that of years-long lovers. He pays visits to my home when no one else but myself is around and the hours following those visits would be the most blissful I have ever felt. He and I satisfied each other in more ways than one... and during those moments, I felt a seemingly-never-ending paradise. 

~APRIL 10, 2013: He visited me again- this time it was nighttime. Just when we were getting passionate with each other, I heard the roar of my father's car engine signifying that my parents have arrived. Panicking, I made him hide in my room and planned to let him out once my parents have gone to their room. Unfortunately, that plan did not work quite as expected for when my mother entered the house, her instincts told her to check my room and there she saw him.

All Hell broke lose as my father hit me in front of him. My father would have also landed a punch on my lover if I haven't screamed at him to get out. I was scolded, reprimanded and my phone was crushed to pieces. I had planned to escape that very night to go live with my older brother but I guess fate did not allow that to happen. The next morning when all my bags were ready and all I had to do was bring them out of the house, my mother woke up and caught me leaving. What followed next was a series of emotional breakdowns between me and my parents in which I revealed everything to them- starting from my masochistic days. My father apologized for hitting me, but they told me to avoid my lover. I did not intend to follow them. I still have the "assassin attitude" in me to do things in a very hushed manner. Secretly, I bought a new phone with the money I earned from my business and started communicating with him again. I thought he would change- that what happened would make him change his mind about me and leave, but he said he still loves me, he said he would always love me.

~MID-APRIL, 2013: Even if it was against his wishes, I told my very close friends about the situation I was in. As days went by, we communicated each other less. He would not reply to most of my messages and I was getting more and more disturbed by the fact that even if we were in love, he couldn't bring himself to ask me to be his girlfriend or even disclose his relationship with me with his friends (thought most of them already knew because of me). One of my friends then told me about a certain girl- his acquaintance in college- who is also a very close friend of my lover. He introduced her to me. We became acquaintances and friends.

This girl and I began to be open with each other. I told her everything about me and my lover and so did she. I learned that she was one of his very best friends for years now and that she is also madly in love with him. She thought that my lover has also taken a liking to her but quickly dismissed that idea since she knows he is sweet to almost every girl he is acquainted with.

~APRIL 24, 2013: My new-found "friend" and I decided to confront my lover together. I have just had enough of staying at the sidelines; not knowing his true intentions and whether or not he actually loves me. We told him each of our sides and she confessed to him that she was in love with him. We then asked him the ultimate question: Which of us does he really love? My lover gave quite a speech about how he was in love with me but thinks that we were probably not meant to be together since circumstances keep getting in the way and now my parents don't trust him anymore so things wouldn't be as alright as they were before. I knew the final verdict: He. Chose. Her.

~APRIL 26, 2013: He (now my ex-lover) and I talked on the phone and I gave him my final farewell speech. I thanked him for everything and asked forgiveness for whatever trouble I have caused him. He also stated his side and (surprisingly) broke down into tears. He asked for my forgiveness and told me that whatever it is I wish to think of him, he really loved me from the start and he hopes that I will remain to be happy. He asked me to still treat him as a friend since he will indeed suffer more if I treat him like a stranger. I told him not to get his hopes up high- after all, he did hurt me. 

I know I was always one to hold a grudge, and this didn't exclude from that. I was hurt beyond repair. I have shed out my effort, love, trust and support (morally, physically, emotionally and financially) on a man who claims to have loved me but whose decision depicted otherwise. I felt used and betrayed; not only did he refuse to acknowledge me as who I really was in his life to his friends and curious acquaintances, but he had lied to some of them about what had happened between us and chose his best friend over me on such short notice. Masochism was the very first thing that entered my thoughts, and I have actually gave in to it again that very night when he announced the final verdict... but something in me grew more- a thirsty need for revenge.

~MAY 15, 2013: I haven't thought once of seeing him again but when my friend and I went out to process our files for our new college, we met him on the street- descending from a public-utility vehicle. He waved at me, but I just smiled in acknowledgement. He then patted my shoulder two times when he passed me.

That night, I finalized my decision: I was to take revenge in the most unexpected way possible- defeating him in one of the things he is well-renowned at. I started browsing online for cosplay costumes which I know will immediately catch the attention of judges and the audience in any competition. That was when I decided to cosplay Ezio Auditore da Firenze of the Assassin's Creed series. 

Being an avid fan of AC, I have taken various data and information on everything surrounding it by heart so I know I could not only cosplay Ezio but be his character as well. Once I do that, I would be sure to defeat him in the upcoming cosplay event competition... and once he sees the person bearing the hidden blade beneath the hood, the look on his face would be glorious prize for my revenge...