Editing User talk:TylerFB2000

{{Welcome}}
Feel free to contact me on my talkpage if you need anything. [[User:Sol Pacificus|<span style="color:#990000;font-family:Monotype Corsiva;font-size:17px">'''Sol Pacificus'''</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:Sol Pacificus|<span style="color:#D4AF37;font-family:Californian FB;font-size:11px">(Cyfiero)</span>]]</sup> 00:12, 24 December 2022 (UTC)

==Feedback for "The Man from the Meidum Pyramid"==
Hello Tyler, so I wanted to provide some feedback for the article "[[Ardyn Izunia|The Man from the Meidum Pyramid]]". First, I think it was an excellent choice for a new article because it is neither too great of a topic nor too trivial, so it is the right size for good practice as someone new to editing, not to mention that it's an important subject.

I noticed in your biographical writing for the character that there is some information that has never been verified in the only source we have on the character. For example, you wrote that he "had been restrained in an Isu prison under unknown circumstances, likely sometime during the Isu Era". The quest never mentions that the prison was made by the Isu even though if that seems like a safe assumption since we don't know of any other civilization which could create such technology. Still, it's unverified, so we actually can't write that. In my rewrite, I mentioned that the columns in the sundial were of "Isu-like construction" instead since the best way I could describe them is that they seem Isu, but we aren't sure.

It's even more speculative to write that the individual was "likely" imprisoned "during the Isu era" and then to follow that by describing how the Meidum Pyramid was built around it. We really have no way of knowing how long he was in there. I also thought his "tomb" was built with the pyramid instead. Maybe there's an unknown history and purpose behind the pyramid. Finally, I didn't interpret the man to have been captured against his will "before he could act on his newly found freedom". He was smiling and didn't seem alarmed by the dragon's swords being thrown in front of him. It's possible the dragon was his intended means of escape. Since we don't know his relation to the dragon, I did my best to avoid writing any assumptions about it in my rewrite.

In general, wiki writing should always be fact-based because our task is to merely document the lore as accurately as we can, and we have to strive to avoid including our unverified interpretations and theories as much as possible. Usually if you're writing a sentence using the adverbs ''likely'', ''probably'', and ''presumably'', the sentence should probably be avoided since this suggests it is based on speculation.

You might be confused why in my rewrite, I explained the puzzle and the mechanism behind his tomb more. Normally, it is better to write more about the character as an individual and their history than a quest puzzle around them. I'm thinking maybe you noticed this and that's why you didn't write about the puzzle, and that's a good judgement call. In this case, however, because there's actually very little actually verifiable facts about the character, there isn't much to write about except for what we know about his prison. So I went into more detail on the sundial to give some context to how he was trapped and how he was freed.

There were a few formatting issues as well and one lexical mistake, but you can learn more about formatting at your own pace, so I wouldn't go into detail on those for now. I should note that the "Behind the scenes" section has superseded the "Trivia" section, but you can still use a Trivia section instead if you have a bunch of BTS notes that you haven't had time to organize into proper prose. Also it's important to prioritize incorporating the images into the body instead of relegating to the gallery section, but the body was sufficiently small when you wrote it that a gallery section was fine instead.

One thing you did well is that you did your best to write from the man's perspective instead of Bayek. A lot of new editors make the mistake of always privileging the perspective of the main protagonist, but in an article about a character, it should be written from their perspective as much as possible. It was great that you didn't make this common mistake.

Finally, I like how you linked to the ''Final Fantasy'' wiki for subjects like Noctus or Bahamut instead of linking to Wikipedia, red-linking, or not linking. I was impressed by that because I don't usually see editors have the foresight to do that. I prefer linking to other specialized wikis instead of straight to Wikipedia to pay respects to them as a fellow wiki and help promote them if only a little. Looking forward to more of your work. [[User:Sol Pacificus|<span style="color:#990000;font-family:Monotype Corsiva;font-size:17px">'''Sol Pacificus'''</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:Sol Pacificus|<span style="color:#D4AF37;font-family:Californian FB;font-size:11px">(Cyfiero)</span>]]</sup> 00:12, 24 December 2022 (UTC)